


London Years, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pre-White House (West Wing), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-26
Updated: 2006-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:54:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Jed and Abbey realize the honeymoon is over when they move to London so Jed can attend graduate school. This story is told through flashbacks of their years in London





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story belong to NBC, WB, and Aaron Sorkin. We're just borrowing them for some fun :)

Story Summary: The honeymoon is over for Jed and Abbey. While living in London so Jed could complete graduate school, they deal with the strains of raising a baby and try to get their troubled marriage back on track. Told through flashbacks.

\- - -

Present-day July 1970

Abbey unzipped her dress and let it slide effortlessly down her body, her face devoid of any emotion. She shook her head, waving the strands of hair off her face, then bent over and picked up the dress, now gathered around her ankles, and tossed it on to the bed. She caught her reflection in the mirror, her foundation smeared and little traces of eyeliner and mascara still stained her face, evidence that she had shed a few tears on the way home. She grabbed her terrycloth robe, threw it over her arm, and headed to the shower.

The lukewarm water drenched her body and her fingers wrapped themselves inside her long strands of dampened hair. She closed her eyes, breathing in the steam, and with one large exhaling breath, she let out days worth of frustration. She turned around and looked up at the sprinkling water that splattered her face, cosmetically cleansing herself of any hint of emotional turmoil inside.

Once her shower was over, she wrapped herself in her robe and walked over to the nursery where Elizabeth still lay sound asleep. She bent over the crib railing to rest her ear on the baby's chest. With the reassuring sound of a heartbeat, Abbey could relax. 

She headed back to her own room, picking at her hair with a comb on the way. A single photograph caught her attention. A single look made her remember. It was the look in his eyes on that day -- their wedding photo, framed in silver, sat in her bedroom. As she picked it up and stared deep into the eyes that made her fall in love, she allowed herself to get lost in the memories.

\- - -

August 1967

When a newly-wedded Jed and Abbey arrived in London, full of hope and determination, they quickly found they had to make sacrifices. Instead of the spacious town home they had their eyes set on, they had to settle for a small one-bedroom flat. It had tiny den that Abbey joked was more like a closet, but Jed was determined to convert it into a nursery in plenty of time for the Baby Bartlet’s arrival. 

Days after moving in to their new home, only half the furniture had arrived and most of their clothes were still stored in suitcases. Jed sifted through his belongings in the living room while Abbey stood in the kitchen, rummaging through boxes.

Her eyes silently followed him as he crossed the room. She smiled at the way he cocked his head to the side in exhaustion. But her smile soon disappeared when he reached into his bag and put a cigarette in his mouth. Just as the tip made contact with the lighter he held in his other hand, a splash of water hit his face, jolting his body and causing the cigarette to fall out from between his lips.

"Abbey! What the hell?"

She put the empty glass back on the counter and bent down to pick up the wet cigarette. "Rule number one: no smoking in the house."

"You're going to hit me with rules?"

"Yes, I am. It's a disgusting habit and I think you should quit." 

He reached in to grab another cigarette, but she took the pack out of his hand and slapped his fingers away when he tried to stop her.

"I did quit…in college."

"Yes and you started again as soon as we got married. What does that say?"

"It says that we've been married a week and you're already analyzing my every move."

"Smoking is bad for you. Haven't you read the Surgeon General's report?"

Jed sighed, realizing he wasn't going to win this argument. "No, Abbey, I haven't."

"The report states unequivocally that smoking is the prime cause of lung cancer, something they've suspected for three years. The FTC recommends changing the warning label on every pack of cigarettes from 'smoking might be hazardous to your health' to 'if you smoke, you'll die,' and when they do, there's going to be no excuse for anyone to be as clueless as you."

"Thank you. Now can I have my cigarettes?" Jed extended his hand with his palm up.

"Jed!"

Knowing she wasn't going to give them up, he grabbed them from her. "They're mine, Abbey. I need them to relieve the stress."

"What stress?"

"The stress that you're causing me right now!" he shouted.

Abbey glared at him then walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Jed threw the cigarettes into his bag and sat down on the bed, his frustration now hitting its peak. He glanced at the cigarettes, but didn't touch them. Instead, he stood up and continued to unpack. He had his back to her when she reentered the room a half hour later. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Hey. I'm sorry," he said, turning his head slightly to look at her.

"Shhh."

She ran her hands up and down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and caressing his bare skin. Jed stopped unpacking and covered her hands with his own. "What are you doing?"

"Just trying to relieve your stress."

Abbey slipped his shirt off his shoulders and tossed it on to the bed. Still standing behind him, she reached around his hips and pulled on his belt buckle. 

"Abbey..."

She could feel the hesitation in his body language. "Trust me," she whispered with her hot breath now saturating his back. "Rule number two: never argue when I have my mind made up."

She threw his belt across the room and began tugging on his pants. With a few tugs, she pulled the pants and his underwear down over his hips. She placed the palms of her hands on his shoulders, her fingers probing his muscles and causing him to tilt his head back to release the tension. 

With every moan, Abbey increased the pressure, her hands now working their way down his back and to his waist. She kneaded the skin gently and used her lips to add a sensuous touch to where her hands had just been. Her fingers continued to massage the tightness in his buttocks and his upper thighs and her tongue trailed down the length of his spine. She dropped to the ground, placing warm, wet kisses on the backs of his thighs.

"Oh, Abbey."

"Does that feel good?" she asked innocently.

Jed turned around to find her on her knees, wearing a crimson satin robe and staring up at him through her emerald green eyes. Her hair cascaded down the side and a light sprinkle of bangs brushed against the top of her lashes. 

"God I love you," he said.

She grabbed his hand and lifted herself up. "Follow me."

She led him into the bathroom where she had filled the tub with lavendar bubbles and the rose petals he had given her on their first night in London. She carelessly slipped out of her robe and stood in front of him completely naked. 

"Now?" he asked.

"Yeah. Get in."

Jed climbed in to the tub then reached out his hand to help Abbey. "Come on."

She resisted. "No. Sit down and lean back."

"You're awfully bossy, Sweet Knees."

"That's why you love me."

He did as he was told and once he leaned his head against the back of the tub, Abbey kneeled by the side, picked up a washcloth, and dipped it into the water. She stroked his chest with the wet cloth, her free hand tracing over the bubbles on his skin. Her hand slipped under the water and began cleansing his legs, her fingers grazing his penis manipulatively. With every squirm, her hand moved up a bit further until she was massaging his inner thighs. 

"You can't tease me like this."

"Look at you, Sweetheart. I think right about now, I can do anything I want."

Jed grabbed her wrist playfully and Abbey used her free hand to continue the journey up and down his thigh, this time, rubbing the area that made him inhale deeply and start to let go. She knew he was ready. He put out his arms and she stepped into the tub, laying on top of him and rubbing her body on his. The bubbly water and flowers barely covered their bodies and the wet, slippery friction was enough to almost send Jed over the edge. She held on to him and slowly guided him into her entrance, letting out a moan herself when he was settled. As he moved inside her, she grabbed his head and kissed him hard and with each thurst, she tightened her hold until they both lost total control. 

Afterwards, Jed stood in their bedroom and watched as Abbey unwrapped the towel from her body and began drying up excess moisture on her legs. She bent forward to rub the towel around her calves. With a side glance, she noticed he was watching her. She seductively pulled the towel up over her thighs and her hips, wiggling in between strokes. She knew what she was doing. He was worked up all over again and when she reached for a clean pair of clothes, he stopped her.

"What?" she asked.

"Why are you getting dressed?"

"Jed, I have to get back to work. We have a lot of unpacking left to do."

"I know and we'll do it. But why do we have to get dressed?" A wicked smile came over his face.

"Because we do," she said hesitantly.

"It's our own apartment, Abbey."

"We're in London now. It's a flat."

"Whatever. It's ours. Why can't we just stay naked?"

Abbey twirled her hair with her fingers as she contemplated her answer. "It would be uncomfortable."

"After what we did in there, you're going to stand here and tell me that you'd be uncomfortable if I saw you naked?" He approached her and wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her hips to pull her close. "I know every inch of your beautiful body."

"Jed."

"Rule number three: this flat is our sanctuary. No clothes allowed." Abbey laughed. "Think of it as foreplay for later."

"You want to go another round tonight?"

"Abbey, I want to go another round right now." 

She raised her eyebrows and grinned. "Then what are you waiting for?"

"Permission."

He pulled her wet hair off her face and kissed her as he used his own body to push her over to the bed. She fell back onto the mattress and he climbed on top of her, holding her against him as he rolled over the sheets.

\- - -

Present day

Abbey put the framed photograph on the bureau and sat down on the bed. She rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying fruitlessly to fight off the headache that was already pounding her. The sound of the ticking clock suddenly monopolized the room. As she lifted her head to glance at the time, she froze. It was almost midnight. In just a few minutes, it would be July 22, 1970, the day of her third wedding anniversary. 

Her head snapped back at the crashing sound in the other room. "Jed?" 

She ran out of the room in anticipation, but it wasn't him. The window had been left open and the storm brewing outside had caused the wind to violently shut the door on the entertainment set in the living room. Visibly rattled, she closed the window and turned to face the front door.

"Please come home," she whispered, hoping against logic that somehow, some way, he would telepathically hear her plea.

TBC


	2. Chapter Two

Story: The London Years

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey remembered adjusting to life the first few days in London.

Summary: Another trip down memory lane has Abbey recalling their first Christmas in their new home.

\- - -

December 1967

Christmas in London should have been romantic for a newlywed couple just beginning their lives together. In theory, it was supposed to be an adventure. But only months after the big move, Jed and Abbey were still in the adjustment phase, learning how to live with one another and survive in the world without another trusted soul closeby. 

Jed was going to school full-time and teaching undergrad courses. Abbey got a job on campus to be closer to her husband, hoping that being together would help with the loneliness she felt being so far away from home. But by the winter holidays, even Jed's presence was no match for her homesickness.

"It doesn't smell like Christmas," she told him as he set up the Christmas Tree.

Jed looked at her, then glanced back at the tree, then again at her, realizing he didn't have a clue what she was saying. "What?"

"It doesn't smell like Christmas. Back home, my parents used to set up the tree in our living room and for three solid weeks, it just *smelled* like Christmas, you know? Mom was always baking cookies and Kate and I were wrapping the presents, candles were lit all over the living room. The smell of the garland, the aroma from the oven, even the wrapping paper had a distinct scent to it. Throughout the house, you just knew it was the holiday season. It smelled like it."

Jed reached out to take her hand. "Abbey."

She shrugged him away and plastered a smile on her face. "I'm okay." 

"Are you?"

"Yeah," she lied. "You know, by next Christmas, we're going to have memories of our own for this little one," she said as she rubbed her stomach.

He had a wicked twinkle in his eye as a fond memory captured his attention. "Like her mommy and daddy making love under the Christmas Tree?"

Abbey chuckled, his humor momentarily taking her mind off her emotions. "I think she'd be scarred for life by that image."

"She? How do you know it's a girl?"

"Just a feeling." She paused to look at his face and despite the grin she found, she still had to ask. "I'm sorry, are you disappointed?"

"About what?"

"That I don't think it's a boy?"

He placed his own hand on her stomach, gently patting it. "Abigail, whether it's a boy or a girl, I really don't care. It's our baby."

Abbey laced her fingers around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied with a kiss to the top of her head.

She let go of Jed and reached for the ornaments sitting on the table. This really was the start of their life together and nothing symbolized that more than the new box of Christmas decorations they had picked out together - everything new, nothing brought from home. 

"Where are the lights?" she asked.

"Oh, I forgot," he replied.

"You forgot the lights? Jed, how can we decorate a tree without lights?"

"I guess I'll have to pick them up tomorrow on my way home."

Jed saw the disappointment in her face and part of him regretted lying to her, but it was what he had to do. And the next evening when Abbey returned from work, she would understand why.

She opened the door, flung her purse on the couch, and stepped out of her high heels. She reached for the light switch and let out a sigh of frustration when nothing happened. She began to walk across the darkened room, her hands reaching out in front of her to feel her way to a flashlight. She didn't make it very far before she jumped in fear as strings of multi-colored lights lit up around her. It took her a moment to catch her breath, then realize that Christmas lights were illuminating the apartment.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, looking around the room and finding familiar faces staring back at her.

"Abigail!" her mother shouted as she ran to hug her daughter.

One by one, her parents, her sister, and Millie, Steve, and Joni all greeted her while Jed began lighting the holiday candles that he strategically placed to remind Abbey of home. 

"I can't believe this," she kept repeating.

"Believe it, Honey," her father told her. "Jed called us several weeks ago."

"And asked you all to come?"

"No, he told us to come. He had already bought the tickets," Joni said.

Jed crossed the room to stand beside his wife. "Well, I didn't do it completely on my own. This was your Christmas present from me and your parents."

Being pregnant, it didn't take much to make Abbey cry. Her eyes filled with tears as she hugged her husband. "I can't believe you did this." 

"I wanted you to have another traditional Christmas with the people who mean the most to you and since you're too pregnant to fly back home, we had to bring them all to you." He stopped to take in the expressions of joy that lit her face, excited that he was about to add one more surprise. "There's more."

"What more could there possibly be?" Abbey asked.

Jed turned to Mary and nodded as Mary began speaking. "Jed has asked me to stay until after the baby is born...if it's all right with you, that is."

"All right with me? I'm going crazy with fear. I don't know the first thing about babies," Abbey cried.

"That's why she'll be here to help you," Jed replied. "She can stay in the nursery since it won't be used for another three months."

"Jed's thought of everything," Millie said from across the room.

Abbey's gaze never left Jed's eyes as she thanked him for the wonderful gift he had given her. "Yes, he has."

Jed put his arms around her waist and led her to the Christmas Tree. "I did my best to find scented wrapping paper, but I'm not sure I succeeded," he said, handing her a present.

"You're too much," she squeaked out, her voice laced with laughter and tears.

She put the present back under the tree and looked up at her husband, her heart swelling with the love she had for him. They silently stared at one another for several moments before he leaned in to give her a subtle kiss on the lips. Abbey grabbed his face and kissed him harder. He didn't resist. 

It wasn't long before the guests whisked Abbey out of his arms, leaving him to catch an occasional glimpse at her from across the room. He couldn't get enough of her, the way her mind focused so intently on something as trivial as placing ornaments on the tree, or how her hair fell across her face, leaving only the diminutive details of her features visible when she and the girls began to string popcorn. Jed's breath came with every move she made and every once in a while when she would look up at him, he'd see that familiar sparkle in her eyes that still made him go weak in the knees.

It was these silent expressions of love that got them through their first year in London and would eventually gear them up for the challenges that lay ahead.

TBC


	3. Chapter Three

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

AN: Beautiful Baby Girl was written by Dwayne Arvinger and released by Verdict Entertainment

Previously: Abbey remembered their first Christmas in London and Jed's big surprise for her.

Summary: It's a girl!

\- - -

March 1968

After fifteen grueling hours of labor, Abbey was ready to welcome Baby Bartlet into the world, but laying back with her feet in the stirrups, her sweat-stained hair now completely covering her face, she refused to push. 

She tried to control her breathing and frequently screamed out in pain. Nurses patted her face with a damp cloth and urged her to let the doctors do their job, but she wouldn't - not until Jed arrived. He was initially reluctant to leave her, but mistakenly thinking they had a few weeks before the baby was born, Abbey encouraged him to attend Leo and Jenny's wedding in Chicago. 

It was there that he got the frantic call from Mary, ordering him to catch the first plane back to London. The last update Abbey had received had him at Heathrow Airport, only a 30-minute drive away. So Abbey bit down on her lip and dealt with the pain until he could be there to share in the joy.

"Abbey, you're going to have to start pushing," the doctor told her.

"Not until he's here," Abbey protested. "My husband and I have waited a long time for this moment. I'm not going to have this baby without him."

"If you wait much longer, you may not have a choice. The baby's going to pop right out."

"Then I guess you'll have to push her back in," she said before another contraction swept her breath away.

"He's here!" Mary yelled to the doctor as Jed made his way into the hospital.

"Oh thank God," Abbey sighed, blood now trickling down from her lips from where she had tried to bite through the pain.

"I'm here, I'm here.” Jed ran into his wife’s room and without a second thought, picked up her hand, stroking it gently. 

"What the hell took you so long?"

"It was a ten-hour flight and a delay at O'Hare thanks to snow. How's it going here? Are you still in pain?"

"Is there a baby yet?"

He looked at her protruding stomach. "No."

"Then be quiet," she replied. 

Abbey gave a final push and with it came the cries of a beautiful baby girl the doctor eventually placed on her chest. Abbey stared down at her newborn daughter. Her face was pink and little. Extremely fine strands of dark hair covered her tiny head. She fluttered her eyes once or twice, then kept them closed. But it was long enough for Abbey to catch a glimpse she'd never forget. She could swear that in her daughter's eyes, she saw her husband's spirit.

She looked up to thank God for giving her such an absolutely perfect human being to look after and care for. Her eyes trailed back down to the squirming baby and in an instant, she was convinced that Elizabeth Ann Bartlet was an angel sent from Heaven.

Jed stood completely still, emotionally paralyzed by what he just witnessed. Abbey introduced him to his daughter, but the new father was afraid to touch her. He looked at her in complete awe, scared by how small and fragile she was. No matter how much Abbey tried to convince him, he continued to resist. 

"Jed, she's your child. You're going to have to hold her eventually."

"Why?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid." Abbey gave him a stern look and he knew he had to come clean. "I'll hurt her."

"No, Sweetheart, you won't," she assured him. 

"She'll cry if I hold her."

"Jed, I'm right here if you run into trouble." Abbey pulled him closer to her bed, then put the sleeping infant in his arms. Jed moved back initially, but soon realized he wanted to stay as close to Abbey as possible. "See, you're doing a great job."

"Until I drop her."

"You're not going to drop her," she said with a faint laugh.

Jed looked down at baby Elizabeth. He was speechless, choked up by the immeasurable happiness that came with knowing this was someone he was going to cherish for the rest of his life. Suddenly, it all made sense. Life made sense. He loved Abbey with all his heart, but now he was responsible for a young life and no emotion he had ever felt before could have prepared him for what he was feeling now.

Jed brought Abbey home from the hospital a few days later. It almost seemed like a different house, thanks to Mary’s relentless effort in making sure the house was meticulous. Everything had been carefully baby-proofed. 

Abbey insisted the crib be moved into their room so she could keep an eye on Elizabeth for the first few months.

Many nights, she'd find herself standing next to the sleeping baby, just watching her breathe. Every once in a while when the breaths weren't visible, she would lay her head against Liz's chest just to be sure nothing was wrong. 

"Abbey," Jed called out on one particular night.

"Shhh."

Jed got out of bed and walked over to his wife. Abbey stood up after listening to their daughter's heartbeat. She brushed her hair back with her fingers and never took her eyes off Elizabeth. 

"Everything okay?" he asked as he put his hands on her hips from behind.

"I think so."

"Good. Come to bed."

"In a few minutes."

She ran her hand over the baby's face, taking in the warm skin she felt between her fingers. 

"Hon, you're going to wake her."

Abbey shot him a look that usually meant he should back off. "So what? I want her up. I want to play with her."

"You'll get to play with her in the morning. Come on, let's go to bed."

She turned back to Liz and realized Jed was right. It would be cruel to wake her now when she's in the middle of a peaceful sleep. She began to follow Jed back to the bed, but changed direction and headed out the door. 

"Where are you going?" Jed asked.

"I just need some water." 

With Abbey out of the room, Jed's glance turned back to his daughter. Truth be known, he wanted to play with her too. He had been working so hard at school that by the time he came home every night, Abbey was usually putting Elizabeth to bed. The only time he really had to hold her and spend time with her was during breakfast. Normally, he wouldn't dare wake her in the middle of the night, but watching her angelic face as she slept made her irresistible.

She squirmed slightly and cooed and that was all it took to melt Jed's heart. He ran his hand over her head, gently stroking the light, thin strands of hair. "Hey, Lizzie."

Liz stirred, but didn't open her eyes. Jed took a deep breath then and picked up the stuffed bear Mary had given the baby. He brushed it lightly over Liz's face. She stirred a little more before she burst into tears.

Jed was taken aback by her cries. The sound was piercing and it broke his heart into a million pieces. He immediately regretted what he had done. He quickly reached down and picked her up, holding her close to his chest and rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"Shhh, its okay, Baby. I'm so sorry."

"What happened?" Abbey asked as she ran back into the room. 

"She woke up."

"Jed?"

"I'm sorry," he said contritely. "I woke her up. She was sound asleep and I woke her up. I'm a terrible father." 

He handed Abbey the baby, lowered his head, and sat down on the bed. Abbey had never seen Jed so unsure of himself. He was a brilliant, competent man, whose ego surpassed expectations in every other facet of his life. But the thought of caring for a child scared him to his core. She had told him countless times that if he would just trust his instincts, he'd discover that he's a wonderful father, but Jed never had the confidence to follow her advice.

Abbey swayed with Elizabeth in her arms to calm her down, then approached her husband. The only way he would become comfortable caring for his newborn daughter was if she forced him. So, she took his arm and lifted him up. "Here." 

He stared at her as she slipped the baby into his hands. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"You woke her. Now you get to put her to sleep."

"Abbey."

"I'm serious."

Jed looked down at the baby, then back up at Abbey with genuine fear in his eyes. "But I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"You're a smart man. You'll figure it out. And don't use that language in front of our daughter."

"I need your help," he pleaded.

Abbey pulled back the covers, ready to slip back into bed. "Uh uh. I wanted to wake her, but you said no. You waited for me to leave the room and you went ahead and did it all by yourself. Now you get to put her down all by yourself." 

Realizing he wasn't going to get any assistance from her, Jed carried the baby to the living room. He held Elizabeth awkwardly at first, unsure how to comfort her. When Abbey's words began to replay in his mind, he took a deep breath and calmed himself down, then looked at his daughter's face.

"Tell me what to do to get you back to sleep. You want a song?" he asked her. 

Though Liz continued to sob, he began humming a tune he had learned only days earlier and soon, her cries softened.

It only took a few minutes for Abbey to feel guilty about the position she had put Jed in. She knew he wanted more bonding time with the baby, but so often he held back out of a sense of inadequacy. Though she thought forcing him was the only way to get him to care for Lizzie, she also wondered if the middle of the night was the best time to try her experiment. After all, he had class first thing in the morning and he did need his sleep.

Realizing she had to let him off the hook, she got out of bed and crept out of the bedroom to spy on father and daughter. And with only a few steps out into the hall, she was stunned by what she heard.

"You're my beautiful, beautiful baby girl

There's no one else like you in the world

You're my pride and joy

I'm glad you're not a boy

You're my beautiful, beautiful baby girl "

Softly, cautiously, Jed was singing to his little girl. Elizabeth looked up at her father with her big blue eyes transfixed on his mouth. Jed was absolutely beaming. A sweet smile curved Abbey’s lips at the mutual look of adoration between father and daughter. She was so touched, in fact, that she began to feel bad for interrupting the precious moment. 

Jed found her watching silently, but he waited until Liz closed her eyes before he said anything. "Hey."

"Hey," she replied.

"I think she's asleep."

Abbey agreed and together they walked back to their bedroom where Jed put Liz back in her crib and pulled the blanket over her sleeping form.

Abbey took his hand and led him back to their bed. "I don't ever want to hear you say you're a terrible father again," she warned him. "I'm serious, Jed. I wouldn't have married you if I wasn't sure that you were going to be the greatest father in the world."

He took comfort in that. Sure, he was proud that his singing had put his daughter to, but it was Abbey’s reassurance that erased most of his doubts. "Thank you," he said simply as he placed a kiss on Abbey's mouth.

TBC


	4. Chapter Four

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey helped Jed overcome his fear of inadequacy when it came to caring for Elizabeth

Summary: It's late Spring 1968 and Jed and Abbey hear shocking news. In the present, Abbey is concerned about Jed's real reason for not being home

\- - -

June 1968

It was a quiet summer afternoon at the Bartlet house. With Elizabeth sleeping in late, Jed and Abbey took advantage of the free time and did the same. Now that they were all up and dressed, it was time to begin the day.

Jed sat back on the sofa, his eyes mesmerized by Abbey cradling Elizabeth in her arms. She was a natural mother, he thought, gazing at her swaying Liz back and forth. To him, it seemed as if Abbey always had all the answers. She was a confident woman, as secure in her parenting skills as mothers twice her age.

What he didn't know was the level of uncertainty and fear that ran through Abbey's mind every single day, most of it fostered by the anxiety that came with the thought of leaving her alone.

"May I?" he asked as he stood up and approached mother and daughter.

Abbey nodded and carefully placed the baby in his arms. "Watch out for her head," she warned.

"I have done this once or twice before, Abbey. You've trained me well."

"I know, I just want to make sure."

Jed smiled at her then held Elizabeth upright. "Mommy gets nervous when anyone else dares to hold her precious angel." He began turning around, spinning Liz with him as Abbey covered her eyes. 

But when he picked up the pace and bounced her in his arms, she spoke up. "Jed! Stop it! She's too young for that!" she admonished.

"She's laughing," he replied.

"That's because she doesn't know any better."

Sensing her disapproval, Jed handed Abbey the baby and took a seat back on the sofa. Abbey put Liz back in her crib and ran her fingers over her back, soothingly. When the baby was settled, Abbey joined her husband, picking up his hand and placing it in her lap while softly stroking the back of his knuckles. 

"I know you're always careful with her. I'm just an over-protective Mom. I'm sorry."

Jed smiled and leaned in to give her a quick kiss, reassuring her that he wasn't upset. When her expression didn't change, he became concerned. "What's the matter?" he asked.

She took her eyes away from him and focused on the wall in front of her instead. "What do you mean?"

Jed put his hand under her chin and turned her back towards him. "Abbey, what's going on?"

"I'm going back to work Monday."

"Yeah?"

She paused and looked down, then glanced back up at him. "I don't want to leave her," she admitted.

Jed tilted his head to his side, visibly touched by her candor. "Oh, Sweetie." 

"I know it's silly. I know she'll be fine and I'll see her right after work, but I just can't stand the thought of missing anything." 

"Then don't go."

"I have to go."

He ran the back of his hand over her cheek. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Abbey. Ever."

"Jed, that's crazy. I need to work. We need the money."

"You let me worry about that, okay?"

"I can't put it all on you."

"I wouldn't tell you to if I wasn't sure we were going to be okay. I love you and I love that you want to stay home and care for our little girl. Honestly, the only reason I was so supportive of you returning to work is because I thought you wanted to."

"Part of me does."

"And the other part just wants to be a mother right now," he finished. "I think that's wonderful."

"You do?"

"It's the hardest job in the world."

Abbey leaned forward and hugged him, her hands clasped around his neck. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Jed held her tightly, his eyes still watching the television in front of them. He pulled away when the images on the screen caused him alarm. "Hold on." He walked over to the set and turned up the volume, then sat back down next to Abbey in silence. 

"...Kennedy had just completed a press conference after declaring victory in the California primary, a crucial win in his campaign to secure the Democratic Presidential nomination..." the television reporter announced. "The condition of the other five victims is not known at this time. Once again, Senator Robert Francis Kennedy succumbed to his injuries after being shot in Los Angeles early this morning. His wife Ethel was by his side."

Abbey ran to the door and picked up the two copies of The London Times. It was true. 

"They published an Extra," she said, taking a step inside with the newspapers in her hand. She and Jed exchanged a fear-ridden glance. 

That night, they lay in bed in each other's arms, both still stunned into silence. 

"It was never as peaceful as I would have liked, what with all the riots, but now...with Dr. King two months ago and Senator Kennedy..." Abbey trailed off.

"...it's gotten much worse," he finished. 

Jed pulled her up and pressed a comforting kiss on her lips as he ran his hand up and down her arm.

\- - -

Present day - July 1970

Abbey was snapped back into reality by the sound of Elizabeth crying. She ran into the nursery and found her standing up in her crib with her hands extended, wanting to be held. Abbey picked her up and melted when her daughter laid her little head on her mother's chest. She ran her hands in a soothing circular motion across the baby's back.

"It's okay, Sweetheart. Did you have a bad dream?"

She pulled Liz away from her body to look at her face, wiping the tears as they trickled down from her eyes. Liz continued sobbing, occasionally bursting out with pleas for her daddy between cries. 

"I know you want your daddy. I want him too, Angel." Abbey pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head as she continued swaying. Her eyes turned to the clock. It was 1:30 in the morning and she still hadn't heard from Jed. Of course he was blowing off steam, but it wasn't like him not to call. 

She tried to convince herself that Jed probably just lost track of time, but doubts lingered in the back of her mind. Every now and then, a sudden wave of insecurity would wash over her and she wondered if he really did it. What if he was so angry this time that he went through with the threat he made earlier that evening? What if he wasn't coming home?

"I want your Daddy too," she whispered to her crying daughter as a single tear drop fell down her own cheek and disappeared into Elizabeth's fine hair.

TBC


	5. Chapter Five

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey worried that Jed had walked out on their marriage.

Summary: Abbey is concerned that's it's something other than anger that's keeping Jed away. She remembers their first wedding anniversary.

\- - -

Present day

With Elizabeth snuggled tight in her crib, Abbey left the nursery. She walked into the kitchen, gazing out the window once more on her way. Still nothing. The knot in the back of her throat became more debilitating with every hour that passed. It was now 2 a.m. and she found herself confronting the possibility that Jed wasn't just brooding. 

No matter how angry he was, he wasn't a vengeful man. He wouldn't purposely cause her undue worry and even if she was wrong about that, the one thing she was absolutely certain of was that he would never abandon Elizabeth. 

The thought that something more was going on began gnawing at her relentlessly. All the other possibilities now raced through her mind. With every blink of her eye, she pictured images that unnerved her, reducing her capacity to think of logical and sensible scenarios. 

She had dismissed the thought earlier, but was now revisiting the possibility that Jed could be lying some place, injured and unable to call for help; and thinking of Jed hurt and alone was just too much to bear. If he had been stewing, at least she could revel in the speculation that he was safe and sound. Knowing that he may not be and that there was nothing she could do to help him silently ate away at her heart.

"Think of good things, Abbey," she kept telling herself, echoing the words she always heard Jed spout when times were rough.

\- - -

July 1968

The piercing sound of the alarm clock echoed throughout the shade-drawn bedroom. His body lay fully covered, but Jed's arm crept out from underneath the blanket as his hand felt its way around the nightstand. With force, he pounded on the offending buzzer and curled up under his satiny haven, sheltering himself from world.

Abbey slowly opened the door, sticking her head through the crack before entering the room. "Jed?"

She could see the shapeless lump under the covers and heard the irrefutable moan coming from the bed. She placed Elizabeth in her crib then sat on the edge of the mattress. She pulled back the comforter and simply laughed as Jed's moans got louder and more defined. 

"Abbey, that's so cruel."

She leaned down so her lips were barely touching his skin. "Rise and shine, Gumdrop. It's 8 a.m.”

"Let me sleep until nine."

"I wish I could, but you have to be at school at nine."

"Please," he whined.

"You're the one who wanted to do summer research, Babe."

He turned away from her and Abbey pulled the blanket off his body entirely and slapped him on the rear. 

"Hey!" 

"It's time to get up," she replied, opening the drapes as Jed squinted and used the crook of his arm to cover his eyes from the sudden glow of sunlight illuminating the room. He rolled onto his side and kept his face hidden in the white satin pillowcase. 

Seeing Jed bury his head further into the pillow, she climbed on the bed and pushed him onto his back. He held on to the pillow, pressing it into his face. 

Laughing at his reluctance to let go, she straddled his hips. "Jed." When he ignored her, she leaned her body forward and nibbled on his earlobe. "Honey." 

She wasn't playing fair. Jed tried not to break, but Abbey's mouth anywhere on his body was irresistible. He hated that she knew that. He let her continue nuzzling up to his neck, her auburn hair spilling forward onto his face and her simple white T-shirt gently rubbing against his bare chest as her satin panties seductively stroked his boxers. Without warning, he grabbed on to her waist and swiftly rolled her over onto the bed, his own body now covering hers. 

He silenced her small whimper with a kiss to her lips. "Who's in control now?" he playfully asked as he pinned her wrists above her head and pressed warm kisses into her neck.

"Happy Anniversary," she replied, pulling her head up to return his kisses.

He held her tighter, grinding their bodies together, until he heard the soft sounds coming from the other side of the room. Jed relaxed his hold on her and turned at the waist to look behind him. Abbey lifted her head and they both noticed Liz, now on her tummy, watching through her crib with amazement and awe.

"Abbey."

"She was asleep when I put her down."

"Yeah, well, now she’s awake."

Abbey slipped out from under him and approached her daughter. "Come here, Angel. Mommy and Daddy were just playing. And now Daddy's going to go take a nice cold shower to calm himself down."

"Oh yeah, I can hardly wait," he said as he placed a kiss on Liz's cheek before heading for the bathroom.

"Don't be long. I'll have breakfast ready."

With breakfast on the table, the only thing missing was Jed. Abbey placed Liz in her play pen and went back into the bedroom to find her husband sprawled face-down on the bed. She sat down next to him and ran her fingertips over his back. A towel was wrapped around his waist and his skin still smelled of a soapy fragrance. 

He began to stir. "Mmm?"

"Hey. I have breakfast waiting."

Jed rolled onto his side with Abbey's hand firmly placed on his arm. "Can we skip breakfast and do this instead?"

She smiled coyly. "Nope, sorry. We don't have time."

"Abbey."

"Jed, you have to get to school."

"It’s been a while, Abbey. I’ve been so busy with school and you with Lizzie..."

"We'll get some alone time tonight. I'm taking Liz to the sitter around five. In the meantime..." she trailed off as her body collapsed onto his and her mouth warred with his tongue. "...there's something to look forward to." She rolled him over and smacked his arm. "Come on. You're going to be late."

"Do you really think it was a good idea to get me all turned on then send me to a place where I'm surrounded by a bunch of hot coeds all day?" he teased.

"I trust you." She began walking towards the door. "I know that you know that any part of you that touches any part them you'll never see again," she said with a slight turn of her head to flash him a mischievous grin as she exited the room.

Later that evening, Abbey stepped out of the shower, only a thin towel covering her glistening skin. She hoped to be dressed and ready by the time Jed got home, but with only two steps into the bedroom, she saw him sitting on the bed, staring at her. 

"You're home early."

"I was excited about tonight," he replied.

"I'm not ready yet."

"I don't know about that." He stood up and walked over to her, leaning down to kiss her lips. "I think you're ready for some things."

"Jed.” She playfully pushed him away.

"Is Liz with the sitter?"

"Yeah."

Jed pulled her wet hair off her face and kissed her again, this time allowing his tongue to find hers. "Good.”

"Jed, stop. We don't have time. We have reservations."

"Don't give me that time thing again, Abbey. I've waited all day. I don't care about dinner." He kissed her bare neck and followed it up to nibble on her ear. "You know how your wet hair turns me on."

"It's not just any dinner. It's special. I want tonight to be perfect."

"This is perfect."

Abbey could never resist his warm breath against her cool, newly showered skin. She stopped fighting and surrendered to the temptation, pushing her body into his. He backed her up towards the bed until the back of her knees hit the mattress. She sat down and Jed put his hands on her shoulders, gently easing her back.

She began to squirm towards the top of the bed, but he held her in place, her knees bent over the edge and her legs dangling in front. He played with her hair, brushing it softly off her face. He opened the towel that she still held against her chest and let the flaps fall to the side, exposing her naked flesh to his inspection. 

"You smell so good," he managed to mumble as he ran his mouth over her breasts, collecting the small drops of water that still covered her skin while his fingers probed her between the thighs. She ran her hands through his hair, so overcome by the sensation of his touch that she occasionally wrapped a strand tightly around her finger.

"You're still dressed," she whispered.

He didn't answer. His tongue trailed down the middle of her chest and across her stomach, stopping to trace her belly button. He looked up at her as she arched her back then continued the downward track. When he reached the area he knew would bring her the greatest pleasure, he stopped. She moaned with displeasure, but a simple rub of the leg assured her he wasn't finished.

He pressed his soft, wet lips on the skin of her inner right thigh, then nibbled on the moisture that still lingered from her shower. He tickled his tongue slowly up her right thigh and over to the left one, gently brushing the nub of flesh in the middle. Abbey gasped as she felt his warmth on her center and sighed as he passed over it again. 

He continued the same routine on her left thigh until she began tightening her muscles, obviously wanting more. He circled her thigh once more while his fingers prepared her for what was next by separating the sensitive folds of skin that sheltered the area that brought her to the height of ecstasy. His mouth soon joined as she moaned in anticipation. 

He lifted her legs up and rested them on his shoulders, her ankles digging into his upper back. He kept his head buried in the depths of her femininity and realizing he too couldn’t wait much longer, he unzipped his pants. His fingers dug into her rear to hold her up to him as he he penetrated her with his tongue. Abbey gasped at the feeling. She threw her head back, unsure how much more she could take. 

He let her down gently, moving both his hands to the top of her thighs and holding her there until they were both nearly lost in the passion. Ready for more, he pulled his head back and repositioned himself, their bodies practically melded together. He entered her, only halfway at first. He withdrew almost completely, then pushed himself in as far as he could and began the subsequent thrusts that brought them both to a tingling climax.

Afterwards, he lay on top of her for a few minutes until he could regain his strength, then pulled himself out and wrapped his arms around her as he rolled to his side. 

"We need to get dressed," he said softly, running his hands up and down her body.

"Do we have to?"

"Now who's the one who doesn't want to leave? Turnabout is fair play, Sweet Knees."

Abbey was still lost in the moment, visibly exhausted from their little tryst. Jed smiled at her and continued holding her as she closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. 

TBC


	6. Chapter Six

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey worried that Jed was hurt or in trouble 

Summary: Flashback - a sick Elizabeth causes stress for Abbey

\- - -

November 1968

Elizabeth sat at the kitchen table, her feet occasionally perched at the edge when her dangling legs sporadically took a break from kicking at the air. She squirmed in her seat, restless yet peculiarly subdued compared to her normal breakfast table shenanigans. She repeatedly banged her plastic sippy cup against the metal frame of her high-chair and enjoyed the rise she got out of Abbey with every crashing sound. 

"Would you please get her to stop?" Abbey asked Jed, knowing he had special influence over Liz.

He put his fork down, turned to his daughter, and used the gentlest voice he could muster. "Lizzie, come on. Put the cup down and eat your breakfast."

Like most children, eight-month-old Elizabeth Ann Bartlet adored her father. Her face lit up when Jed walked into the room. She constantly wiggled her way out of her mother's arms if it meant her father would be available to hold her for a while. The attachment she had to Jed probably stemmed from his long hours at school and the minimal time he had to play with her.

When he spoke, her world stopped and the only thing that mattered were the sounds escaping from his lips, even though it was entirely likely she didn't understand them. Heeding her father's words regarding the cup, Liz set it down gently on her tray and picked up a small piece of the dry, bite-sized cereal Abbey had put in front of her. She nibbled on it, then threw the rest onto the floor. 

"Aren't you hungry, Sweetheart?" Abbey asked her daughter.

She reached out her arms to pick her up, but Elizabeth pushed her hands away and kicked her feet with greater force. Abbey backed off and, instead, placed a few more pieces of cereal on her tray, prying the infant’s fingers off her cup. Liz whimpered in response but Jed's gleeful stare managed to cut it short before it turned into a full-fledged whine. 

As Abbey rinsed the cup in the sink, Jed pushed aside his breakfast plate. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed him absent-mindedly lighting a cigarette. She reached for a pair of scissors before making her way back to the table. With one snip, she cut the cigarette to its filter, which was still nestled between his lips. The rest fell into the ashtray she held under his chin. The sight sparked laughter in Liz.

Jed looked down at the remainder of the filter sticking out of his mouth. Using his thumb and index finger, he pulled it out. "You said you weren't going to do that anymore."

"And you said you weren't going to fill our daughter's lungs with poison."

"Mommy's just cranky because we all have to get used to saying President Nixon now," he said to Elizabeth, who returned his smile with a girlish giggle. "It's not funny, Lizzie. The U.S. Presidency is a serious thing," he teased. 

"Jed."

He turned to face Abbey. "You know Liz can never run for President. She wasn't born in the United States. Or maybe she can. I wonder if there's a loophole since she IS a U.S. citizen."

"The smoking, Jed..."

"Abbey, I forgot. I won't smoke until I leave for school, okay?"

"You shouldn't be smoking at all," she argued.

"Yeah, well, I can think of a lot of things I shouldn't be..."

His voice trailed off as he and Abbey both turned to Elizabeth who had just let out a little sneeze. Speechless, they stood still and stared at their daughter. Liz returned their gaze with a glimmer of baby confusion in her eyes.

"What was that?" Jed asked.

Abbey walked over to Liz, touching her hand to the baby's forehead. "She sneezed."

"I haven’t heard her do that before. She does that?” 

"Yes, Jed. Babies sneeze, just like the rest of us."

He was still confused. "Has she done it before?"

"Yes and it's sad that you don't know that." 

Expecting a lecture about his long hours at school, Jed rolled his eyes. "So then what's the big deal?"

"What do we do?"

"Nothing. It was just a sneeze, right?"

"What if she's sick?" Abbey asked, standing behind Liz and feeling her forehead once more.

"Abbey, she's not sick. You said yourself, she's sneezed before."

"And every time she does, I wonder if she's sick."

"She's not," he replied as he stood up.

Abbey moved her hand so Jed could feel the baby's temperature. Satisfied, he leaned over to kiss Lizzie on the cheek then brushed the hair off Abbey's face and planted a kiss on her lips.

"When will you be home tonight?" 

"Probably around six or seven."

"Don't spoil your appetite. I'll have dinner waiting."

Jed wrapped his arms around her and slipped his fingers into the knot on her apron. "Are you going to be wearing this tonight?"

"Jed, Liz is sitting right here."

"She has no idea what we're talking about. Do you, Angel?" he asked Liz with his head leaning forward over the top of hers.

Elizabeth pushed her head back, looked up at him, and responded to his question with another smile.

"She always smiles at you," Abbey said proudly.

"She's beautiful, isn't she? Just like her mom." 

Jed tilted his head in Liz's direction and Abbey understood what he was asking. It was time for her to distract their daughter while Jed snuck out to leave for school. Unfortunately, in order to avoid a monster tantrum, this was a necessary part of the morning routine. 

Abbey picked her up and carried her to her room, pulling out a few stuffed animals along the way. She sat Liz on the floor against a soft pillow and held her tiny hand until she was steady enough to sit up by herself. 

Elizabeth usually enjoyed playing on the floor and as long as she was surrounded by her favorite toys, she was an independent child, able to entertain herself for hours. But on this morning, she was listless. 

"Look, Lizzie, it's Mr. Patches," Abbey told her, holding up her favorite stuffed animal.

Liz pushed it out of the way and crawled to her mother's legs. Abbey helped her onto her up, immediately placing another cool hand to her forehead.

"What's the matter, Angel?"

Liz leaned back, strongly pressing her head into Abbey's body. Trying to convince herself that the baby was simply tired, Abbey picked her up and carried her to her crib. The second Liz's head touched the pillow, she began to cry out with tears immediately wetting her eyes.

Abbey picked her up back up and ran her hand over Liz's back to soothe her. "Oh, Lizzie, what's wrong?" 

Elizabeth buried her head in Abbey's neck so deep that Abbey could feel the tears on her bare shoulders. She tried to hold her up, but Liz kept her head hanging forward, wanting to snuggle up to her mother. 

Abbey's fears were now taking over. She reached for the phone, but when Liz's cries became louder, she ran back into the bedroom and dressed the baby in a warm coat and hat, grabbed her own coat on the way out, and headed to the doctor's office. 

The rest of the day was spent caring for a temperamental Elizabeth who, despite Abbey's best efforts, was inconsolable. By the time Jed returned home that night, Abbey was exhausted. 

"Where have you been?" she asked coolly as he walked through the door.

Jed glanced down at his watch to make sure he wasn't late. "It's 6:45. I said around six or seven."

"I have been trying to reach you all day! No one at that damn school ever answers the phone!"

"What's the matter?" This wasn't like Abbey. He knew something was wrong.

"Your daughter and I spent most of the morning at the doctor's office."

"Lizzie? What's wrong with Lizzie?"

Jed began to head for the nursery, but Abbey grabbed his arm. "Don't go in there. She's finally asleep."

"Abbey?"

"It's just a mild cold. But she scared the hell out of me and you weren"t here!"

He let out a deep breath, relieved that Abbey had things under control. "Thank God."

"I told you she was sick. You told me she wasn't." Her voice had a resentful twinge to it, the result of her hectic day alone with a sick baby.

He looked at his wife, noting the drawn and tired features that dominated her usually-radiant face. "I'm sorry," he said simply.

Abbey knew she was being unreasonable and his apology cemented it. Regretting her words, she retracted. "No. I shouldn't have...it's not your fault. It's just that I tried so hard to reach you."

"I'll call from now on, on the hour if you want me to."

"It doesn't have to be on the hour, but I wouldn't mind hearing from you during the day...you know, in case something should happen with the baby."

"You're right," he conceded.

"I'm sorry I pounced on you the second you got home."

He opened his arms to welcome an embrace, giving her a kiss when she brushed by his lips as she swung her hands around his neck.

\- - -

It was that day that Abbey first realized the growing frustration of raising her daughter with little help from Jed. She respected the fact that he was working hard, but as a new mother, she spent her days teaching herself the art of caring for another human being and she longed for a supportive partner who could be there to occasionally reassure her. 

Perhaps it was because they were still newlyweds and desperate to avoid conflicts that she didn't tell him what she was feeling. Back then, arguments were easily resolved and soon forgotten. But as Jed's workload grew, keeping him away from home, so did Abbey's desire to have him by her side. It was just one of many battles in the resulting war that had led to their emotional detachment.

What began as one goal they shared together soon became an obstacle that sparked hurt feelings that were usually swept under the rug, only to be uncovered by a major eruption that was sure to eventually follow.

Upon reflection, she wondered if she had told him - if she had been open and honest from the start, about everything - if they would have wandered so far off course.

TBC


	7. Chapter Seven

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey remembered how things began to change after Elizabeth's first cold

Summary: Abbey's unhappiness about Jed's new schedule is overshadowed by a curious Liz. A new couple intrigues Abbey.

AN: The present is July 1970. Abbey's flashbacks give a glimpse into their first three years in London

\- - -

December 1968

Jed sat on the couch holding Elizabeth tightly on his lap and pointing towards the television set. "Look, Honey. You see the astronauts?"

Elizabeth muttered incoherent syllables back to him. It was clearly not the word "astronaut," but with a look of accomplishment plastered on her face, Jed knew she thought she was contributing somewhat to the discussion. 

Abbey stood next to them, folding the clothes she had just washed. "She has no idea what you're saying."

"Sure she does." Jed picked Liz up and straddled her over his shoulders. Liz's hands rested on the top of his head and her familiar baby sounds let him know she was perfectly comfortable. "She's going to be an astronaut when she grows up." Jed raised his eyebrows and glared up at her. "Aren't you, Baby?"

"She's going to be whatever SHE wants to be. No pressure."

"Is that why you bought her a munchkin medical set for Christmas?" He lowered the baby back onto his lap.

"It's educational."

"She's not even a year old."

"It's never too early to learn."

"Exactly my point. Look at the TV, Lizzie. Those men just orbited around the moon ten times." Jed carried Liz over to the television and turned up the volume to hear the news announcer. "Abbey, listen."

"Jed, I listened to the report already, today, and on Christmas when it actually happened. I read the article in this morning's paper. Has something changed?”

He sat Elizabeth down on the floor then stood up to help Abbey. "I can't believe you're not more excited about space technology."

"I am excited! And as soon as they walk on the moon, I'll stick my head out the window and cheer."

"It's the first manned lunar fly-around and return and you're mocking this?"

"No, Sweetie. I'm mocking you." She grabbed the half-folded shirt he was holding. "You're hopeless," she teased as she carried the clothes to the bedroom and returned, holding up a form for Jed's inspection. "Jed? It's your schedule for next semester."

"Yeah, what about it?" he asked, his eyes still glued to the television set.

Abbey examined the paper more carefully. "It doesn't leave much free time."

"It's a very structured program, Abbey."

"We hardly see you as it is."

Jed approached her and took the schedule from her hand. "There's nothing I can do. It's my last semester of full coursework. I have to start my dissertation."

"And you still have to teach." 

"We knew it was going to be hard."

"I just thought we were going to do this together."

"We are."

"No, we're really not. You're doing your thing and I'm doing mine."

"Are you overwhelmed caring for Elizabeth? Do you need some help?"

"I need you."

"Hon, if I could be here with you all day, every day, I would. It's just not possible."

"What about Lizzie? She's growing up so fast and you're missing it. She's going to start walking soon."

Jed had buried that guilt pretty deep, but it all came back to the surface with Abbey's words. "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing." She abandoned the laundry and walked into the kitchen. 

She picked up a wash cloth and began to wash off the kitchen counter and to him, it was obvious her new chore was simply an excuse to leave him - and their conversation - hanging. 

"Abbey, I feel like you're mad at me for something I have no control over."

"I'm not mad at you."

"It doesn't seem like it."

Abbey slapped the towel onto the counter. "What can I do to reassure you?"

"Talking to me in a civil tone would be a start." His voice was a bit harsher than it had been and she sensed he was beginning to get upset.

Unaware that Elizabeth was crawling dangerously close to the Christmas tree, Abbey continued. "This is a civil tone. If you'd like an angry tone so that you can tell the difference, I'd be happy to oblige."

Before Jed could reply, he caught a glimpse of Elizabeth extending her hand and yanking the string of lights spiraling the tree. He leapt into action, shouting her name and scooping her up off the ground. Abbey ran to his side and put a gentle hand on Liz's back as he cradled her shaking body in his arms. 

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart," Jed said, trying to wipe her tiny tears.

Liz turned herself towards her mother and reached out her hands. Abbey grabbed her from Jed's hold. 

"It's okay, Lizzie." Elizabeth buried her face in Abbey's shoulder. "I know you just wanted to get a closer look. Christmas trees are fun, aren't they?" Abbey tried to pull her away to look at her face, but Liz kept her eyes covered with little fists. "They've got all kinds of sparkly ornaments and garland and bright colored lights that turn on and off. That's why I love them too." 

Abbey smiled at Jed, but noticed his weak attempt at a counter-smile. She watched him walk back over to the couch where he plopped himself onto a cushion and stared at the television. She approached him, extending her arms to present him with the baby.

He reluctantly took Liz. "What?" 

"I just thought you might want to hold her."

"She's mad at me."

His voice trembled and she could see some of his parental insecurities resurfacing. "She's not mad at you. You just scared her." She took a deep breath before she continued. "Go ahead and do that thing you do where you throw her up and spin her around and make her laugh."

"The thing that makes you threaten to kill me?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Really?"

Jed held Liz a few inches from his body. He was ready to bounce her up into the air when he noticed the look of pure terror on Abbey's face. He relaxed Liz's body on his own, her chin nuzzled against his shoulder, and began gently patting her back instead until he was able to calm her. With one hand on Liz, he extended his other to welcome Abbey into the embrace.

"This is much better," Abbey whispered as she lifted her head to kiss Jed on the cheek.

The intruding sound of a ringing phone interrupted the family hug. Abbey ducked her head under Jed's arm and reached for the phone while Jed held Liz face-down above his head.

"That's my girl," he said as soon as she began laughing. "You're not mad at Daddy, are you?" 

"Jed?" Abbey called. "It's a classmate of yours - Lila?"

Jed brought Liz down and handed her to Abbey. He covered the phone with his hand and whispered to his wife. "What's the date today?"

"The 28th."

He clinched his eyes and curled up his fist. "Abbey, I forgot to tell you something. Last week, I invited Lila and her husband Tom over for dinner."

"When?"

"Tonight."

Abbey took Liz and gestured for him to answer his call. She put the baby in the play pen and continued to fold the clothes which were now sprawled out over the sofa.

"What time will they be here?" she asked when he hung up the receiver.

"A couple of hours."

"Then I guess you have to get to the store if you expect me to have time to cook anything edible."

She wasn't angry. He didn't have the time to analyze her mood, but he knew she wasn't angry. He was pleasantly surprised and with another kiss, he was out the door. "I'll be back in a flash," he promised.

And he was. By the time Jed returned, Abbey had straightened up the apartment and prepared the kitchen for the cooking that lay ahead. Husband and wife stood side by side to complete the task. 

When Tom and Lila arrived a short time later, the tension that dominated their earlier mood was gone. "Abbey, Jed tells me constantly how much you two were made for one another. Just by looking at you, I can tell he wasn't exaggerating," Lila remarked.

Abbey wrapped her arm around Jed's waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "That's very kind. Thank you," she replied. "So, Tom, what do you do?"

"I'm a theater performer and right now, a teacher at the Royal Academy. Once Lila gets her degree, we're going back to New York." He stood behind his wife and kept his hands on her shoulder. She turned her head slightly to face him and he leaned down to give her a soft kiss.

It was a night of introductions and for Abbey, first impressions were paramount. There were many similarities between Tom and Lila and her and Jed and it was comforting for her to know another couple who embodied the same love and passion. She knew right away that this first impression would stay with her for some time to come. 

TBC


	8. Chapter Eight

Story: The London Years

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Jed's new schedule caused tension for Jed and Abbey. Abbey was intrigued by Jed's classmate Lila and her husband Tom.

Summary: Abbey makes a deal with God and remembers Liz's first birthday.

\- - -

Present day - July 1970

The sound of a car swerving past the house broke Abbey of her trance. She rushed to window only to realize, once again, that it wasn't him. She sighed in disappointment then glanced at the clock once more. It was 3:15 a.m. 

She had already called the hospital’s emergency room and was assured that no one matching Jed's description had been brought in. The police offered very little help, but at least she knew there were no accidents or other incidents involving a Josiah Bartlet.

If Jed was still stewing in his own anger, she worried about how badly she had upset him. If he wasn't, then she worried that her fears were coming true. Ordinarily, she didn't like to bargain with God, but this was too important and the nightmare scenarios that played in her mind left her no other choice. 

With a cracked, tearful voice, she spoke out, promising that if Jed was safe and sound, she would do whatever it took to make amends with him. If he wanted to stay in London, she would forego her own plans and stay. If he wanted to spend more time at school, she would gladly stay home with Lizzie. All her anger had seeped out of her body, replaced by concern and anxiety. All she wanted right now was to wrap her arms around Jed and shelter him in her love.

\- - -

March 1969

Abbey carried a sleepy Elizabeth out of the bedroom and sat her on the couch. She held the baby with one hand and swept a soft brush over her fine tresses of hair with the other. Liz began to whine quietly, still half-asleep from her nap.

"I know, Angel. I know you just woke up, but everyone's going to be here soon and we want you to look your absolute best today." 

She kissed the back of her head before picking her up and taking her into the bedroom, where she had already laid out a white, lace-trimmed dress, white stockings, and matching maryjanes she had bought just for today. 

She sat Lizzie down on the bed and began to undress her, but Liz fought and squirmed her way out of Abbey's arms and crawled to the edge of the bed. Abbey grabbed her arms and sat her back down as Liz burst into tears. 

Already tired herself, Abbey took a deep breath then looked at her daughter. "Sweetheart, don't you want to wear this dress?" she asked, holding up the dress so Liz could look it over. "You picked it out in the store. Remember?"

Liz calmed down only momentarily to take in her mother's words, then continued to struggle, pushing Abbey's hands out of the way. "Da…aaa…ddy," she whined repeatedly.

"Look, Lizzie! It's got lace and pretty little flowers," Abbey pointed out.

Elizabeth swatted the dress and crawled closer to Abbey's lap, rubbing her eyes with tiny fists. Abbey held her against her body with the back of her head cushioned against her chest and then, as if answering his daughter's cries, Jed walked through the door, shouting for Abbey.

"In here," she called back. "I'm glad you're home."

"Yeah, me too. Hey, Lizzie." He leaned down and kissed the top of Liz's head. 

Her face was now beaming with a radiant smile. Still half-dressed, she held her hands out for her father as she called out to him. 

Jed picked her up and Abbey threw the dress back on the bed. "Okay, Daddy. You get to dress her."

He took the dress and turned Liz's body so she could see it. "Ooohh, Mommy picked out a beautiful dress, didn't she, Lizzie?" He looked at Abbey and sensed something was wrong. "Abbey?"

"I've just been trying to dress her for ten minutes and she's been fighting me every step of the way."

"She's probably just tired."

"I know she's tired,” Abbey replied. "But the guests are going to be here any minute. Speaking of which, where have you been?"

"I'm sorry. I got tied up at the library and lost track of time."

"Meanwhile, I've had to keep Lizzie occupied so I could do the laundry, the dishes, and get the house ready for a party, not to mention bake the cake, which you were supposed to help me with."

"I said I'm sorry. Don't take it out on Lizzie. It's her birthday."

"I would never take it out on Lizzie, and I'm perfectly well aware of what today is. I'm not the one who was gone all day." And with those sharp words, she retreated into the bathroom. 

When she emerged after her shower, she walked in on Jed bouncing a gleeful Liz on his lap, white lace trim spilling over his thighs as she kicked her stocking-covered legs and dangled her little feet over his knees.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi." She walked closer to the duo, taking Liz from his arms. "Come here, Sweetheart. You really do look like a princess." With her finger tips, she brushed back the soft strands of brown hair off Liz's forehead, threw a smile in Jed's direction, and continued, "Daddy did an excellent job cleaning you up."

Jed stood up and approached mother and daughter. He admired the way Abbey held Liz in her arms, swinging from side to side and whispering in her ear. But there was a problem and he couldn't continue to deny it. Abbey was unhappy. That was obvious. What to do about it, that wasn't as easy to figure out.

"We need to talk, Abbey," he finally said.

“About what?”

“About things.”

"I know." She noticed the penetrating tone in his voice. He was angry, she assumed.

Jed put his hands in his pocket and shot her a stern glance. Abbey placed Liz into her play pen in the other room and returned, ready for the inevitable discussion she had previously tried to avoid.

"You knew that grad school wasn't going to be easy."

"I did," she agreed.

"Then why are you punishing me?"

She furrowed her brow and turned her head. That accusation threw her for a loop. "Punishing you?" she repeated. "I'm not." She turned her head to look at him. "I don't mean to..."

He cut her off. "I know." He crossed to the other side of the room and broke the awkward silence that followed. "I need to do this. Every hour I'm putting into my classes, my studying, my research…it's because I have to, not because I want to be away from you or Elizabeth."

Of course she knew that. He was doing the best he could juggling all his responsibilities. And Abbey loved him for it, but her own frustration frequently took over, causing her to snap at him at the end of the day. He didn't deserve it and she knew that too.

She didn't respond verbally. Instead, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him on the mouth, falling into a hug when their lips parted. "I'm sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry it’s so hard.” With a smile on his face, he tweaked her nose as the sound of the doorbell ran through the apartment. "Looks like our first guest is here."

"Can you get Lizzie while I get dressed?"

"Of course." He turned away, but Abbey grabbed his wrist, forcing him to turn back around. "What?"

"Thank you for getting her ready," she said.

"I love you," he simply replied. The situation was far from resolved, but with those three words, things seemed to be back to normal - at least for that day. 

Abbey dropped her bathrobe and released her hair from the plastic clip that held it on top of her head. She could hear Jed greeting the guests at the door and over the span of several minutes, she knew the apartment was crowded with birthday well-wishers. 

She slipped her dress over her shoulders and zipped the back, freeing the kinks with her fingers as she looked in the mirror. But before she could make it out to the living room, the intrusive sound of a ringing phone disturbed her progress. 

"Hello?" 

"Abbey!" Millie exclaimed.

"Millie? Hi! How are you?"

"I just wanted to call to wish Elizabeth a very happy first birthday."

"Thank you. She and Jed are greeting guests as we speak."

"Then I won't keep you."

"No, wait. Tell me how you are. How's med school?"

"Well, it’s not that it’s so hard. It’s that it’s so voluminous. They just pile on the information. We read in one night what other grad students read in two weeks. There's so much to know and so much to memorize. It's challenging and believe it or not, even fun. Abs, you're going to love it!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. It's right up your alley. As soon as you guys get back here, you'll see what I mean."

"Yeah," Abbey replied sadly, realizing they wouldn't be returning for another two years.

She looked into the mirror with a forlorn expression, one that reflected her thoughts, until Jed hollered from the other room. "Abbey! Abbey, get out here!"

"Mill, I'm going to have to call you later...okay...send my love to Steve. Bye."

She hung up the phone and left the bedroom, her eyes immediately drawn to the sight in front of her as soon as she entered the next room. Elizabeth was standing on the carpet by herself. Jed stood a few inches away, his hands extended towards her. 

"Come on, Lizzie. You can do it. Come on."

Elizabeth stood in silence. Her eyes were glued to her father with an occasional glance at the other spectators in the room. Jed wiggled his fingers and kept a reassuring smile on his face, hoping to ease her fears. Abbey was motionless, practically holding her breath and waiting in anticipation. 

"Come on, Sweetie," Jed urged. "Mommy's here now. Do it for Mommy."

"Mama." Liz looked up at Abbey, flashing her a warm smile, then stared back at the floor as if lost in contemplation. She slowly raised her leg and took one step, then another, then another, until she fell face-down onto the floor.

Abbey rushed to pick her up before the little girl had a chance to cry. "You're okay, I've got you," she said, holding her tight in her arms. 

Immediately relieving the tension with her laughter, Lizzie laid her head against Abbey's chest. Several teardrops stung Abbey’s eyes, but they were tears of pride, not sadness. Only moments earlier, she had been dreaming of another life – one where she was in med school and she and Jed and Lizzie could build a new home far away from London. 

And now, a feeling of unmitigated guilt washed over her. She already had a wonderful, caring husband who loved her more than anything in the world. She had a daughter she adored, one who needed her to guide her and support her, to teach her and to love her. How could she possibly want – or expect – anything more.

“I love you,” she whispered into Lizzie’s ear as she continued to cradle her baby girl.

TBC


	9. Chapter Nine

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Liz took her first steps during her birthday party. Millie's phone call reminded Abbey how much she was missing back home and at medical school.

Summary: After Abbey struggles to find out what's wrong with Liz and Jed finishes up his final exams, husband and wife have a heart-to-heart.

AN: The present is July 1970. Abbey's flashbacks give a glimpse into their first three years in London. Words to Baby's Lullabye written by Robin Spielberg.

\- - -

May 1969

Jed pulled the covers tightly around his body. His deep breathing was a sure sign that he was sound asleep and usually, no movement would wake him. With her eyes never leaving his sleeping form, Abbey slipped out of bed. 

She walked across the hall into Elizabeth's room. Just as she suspected when she heard the soft baby coos coming from the nursery, Liz was wide awake and rolling around in her crib. Abbey reached down, picked her up, and held her only inches from her body so that mother and daughter were face-to-face.

"Why aren't you asleep, Angel?" she asked. 

Lizzie's eyes were piercing into her mother’s. She watched her lips move and even though she didn't comprehend what she was actually saying, she reached out her fingers to trace mouth. Abbey kissed the little finger that made its way across her face. When her lips curved into a frown, Abbey snuggled up to her in an effort to calm any tantrum that might be brewing. 

Liz kicked her feet and struggled to get down, but as soon as Abbey granted her wish, the little girl held up her arms in a gesture to be held again. This was the typical behavior of an irritable Liz. She had been this way the day before, but Abbey dismissed the behavior, assuming the crankiness was due to the lingering symptoms of a mild cold she had the week before.

Liz kept her thumb in her mouth, sucking lightly. When Abbey tried to pull her hand away, she shouted and struggled to get it back in, accidentally slapping Abbey's chin in the process. 

"Hang on, Lizzie, let me see." She held Liz's hand down and put her own finger in to see if Liz was feeling any pain in her mouth. "Ah, you're cutting another tooth. I'm going to have to teach you how to brush those teeth pretty soon." 

She released her grasp on Liz's hand and smiled when she stuck her thumb between her lips once again, this time relaxing her chin on Abbey's shoulder. Elizabeth didn't seem to be in pain and Abbey still couldn't figure out why she was unable to sleep, but with the way the little girl clung to her mother, she knew something wasn't right.

"You're just determined to keep us both up all night, aren't you?" Abbey teased, holding Liz out in front of her once again.

Liz let out a small laugh and looked around the room. "Daddy?"

Jed had been preparing for his final exams and was unaware of the trouble Liz was having. He wasn't around for the moodiness that Abbey noticed and since he had been so busy slaving away on his research project, Abbey decided not to worry him at such an important time of his academic career. She had to handle this one alone.

"No, Sweetie. Daddy's really tired. We don't want to wake him." When Liz gave her a pained expression, Abbey immediately continued. "He'll be up tomorrow and I'm sure he'll want to play with you when he gets home from school."

Though she didn’t comprehend anything her mother said, Liz smiled and rested her head against Abbey's shoulder. Abbey sat down on the rocking chair in the corner of the room and ran her fingertips over her little spine. She adjusted Liz on her legs so the toddler could lean forward and bury her face in her mother's chest as she began to sing to her.

"Baby's here

and mommy's near

And now it's time for you to sleep

And dreams come true

I know they do

For I'm here holding you"

Both mother and daughter teetered in and out of sleep that night, neither actually drifting off to a restful slumber. By the time Jed woke up the following morning, Abbey had Liz dressed and sitting at the breakfast table, leaving him no hint of her sleepless night. 

"Are you sure you're ready?" Abbey asked as she cleared the table.

"I'm as ready as I'm going to be." He’d been studying for days for his exam.

"You want me to quiz you?"

He stared at her lovingly and gathered the glasses to walk them over to the sink. "No. But thank you," he replied, placing a soft kiss on her lips. 

After Jed left, Abbey tried to bundle up Elizabeth into her favorite raincoat. Liz usually slipped into it without a fuss, probably because the shiny blue material appealed to her little eyes, but on this morning, Abbey wasn't so lucky. She fought with her mother, pulling her arms out of the sleeves every time Abbey tried to put them in.

"Lizzie, you have to keep it on," Abbey insisted. When the toddler continued to struggle and cry, Abbey found it difficult to try again. "Would you rather not go to the park?" 

She sat her daughter on the floor and returned the raincoat to the closet. She turned back around to find Liz standing at her feet, her bottom lip quivering and her eyes shiny with tears. 

She knelt down in front of the small child and ran her thumb under her eye to catch a stray tear. "Are you tired, Sweetheart?" She wished she knew some way to communicate with Liz. She wanted more than anything to make her feel better, but she didn't know what was wrong. "Maybe we should both just take a nap."

Liz stopped fussing the minute Abbey picked her up, but when she laid her in her crib flat on her back, Liz let out a scream so violent it ripped Abbey's heart out. 

"What's the matter?" she asked, the sudden fear she felt transforming the power behind her words to make them sound harsher than she intended. 

Abbey reached down to pick her up as Liz covered her right ear with her hand and pulled on it with force.

"Oh my God," she said softly, finally understanding what her daughter couldn't say. "Is it your ear? Let me see, Sweetie." She gently removed Liz's hand and suddenly, the cries were louder. "Oh, Angel, I know it hurts. I'm so sorry."

Abbey patted her back and cupped her hand around her head in a vain attempt to stop her crying as she reached for the phone.

\- - -

Meanwhile, having just aced his exam, Jed was swaggering around campus just waiting to be challenged. He felt confident and secure, knowing his hard work had paid off. Abbey often told him there was no force great enough to ever match his enormous ego. She was right. 

He learned to hide his superior intellect from his father at a young age in order to avoid setting off the elder Bartlet. Now, in his adult life, he hid it from his classmates, especially since he knew most were still struggling to formulate their test answers. But once out of the classroom, he was free to raise his arms in a "V", as if declaring victory, and let his ego run wild. 

Lila, who saw him sauntering towards his car, called out as ran to catch up to him. “Jed!”

Lost in thought, Jed didn't hear her at first. It was only when she grabbed his arm that he turned to face her. "Hey."

"Hey! How did you do?"

"I did fine," he simply said, downplaying his enthusiasm. "How about you?"

"I think I did okay." He smiled at her, assuming she was covering her own success in case he did worse than he was letting on. "Are you applying for the research assistant position?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I can't. Tom would kill me."

She was right and Jed knew that Abbey would kill him too - if she found out. "Do you want to get a bite to eat tonight...to celebrate the end of the exam block?"

"Definitely! I'll call you as soon as I talk to Tom and we'll figure out where to meet."

She turned to head towards her car, but Jed stopped her. "Hey…tonight…don't mention the research thing to Abbey.”

"You're not going to tell her?"

"I'll tell her. Just not tonight. I want to get my application materials together first. I don't want to get her hopes up in case I decide not to go through with it, you know?"

Lila bought his lie and nodded as the two parted ways.

\- - -

Abbey had just set Liz down in her crib when Jed came home. She rushed to silence him before he had a chance wake up the sick toddler who had finally fallen asleep. 

"I’ve been waiting to see you all day." He greeted her with a kiss.

"How did you do?"

"Great. Listen, go get dressed. Lila and I want to take you and Tom out to dinner tonight."

Having been up the night before, Abbey had been looking forward to going to bed early. "Tonight? Honey, I'm tired."

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"I'm not really up for it."

"Did you cook something already?"

"No, I didn't."

"Then come on. We have to eat."

"Jed, I really can't. But you go ahead and have a great time." She noticed he hadn't asked why she was so tired or how Liz was doing.

"I can't go without you," he told her. "Please Abbey."

"Jed, I said no." 

Her voice was firm and unwavering, immediately putting him on the defensive, given her prickly attitude lately. He suspected tonight, it was just her stubborn streak shining through, purposely being as unyielding as his had been when it came to late-night study sessions at the library. 

"Why not?" 

She heard the annoyed twinge to his voice, one he had no right to claim. He had no clue what her day had been like and he hadn't even asked. "Because I'm tired."

Her tone was calmer this time, so he decided to try again. "Come on, Abbey. One hour, that's all.”

“No.”

Out of patience, Jed exploded. “How the hell can you be tired? You were home playing with Liz all day. You didn't even cook dinner." 

"Playing with Liz?" she snapped. "Do you want to know why I didn't cook dinner?"

Jed regretted the words the second they left his mouth. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's because I was at the doctor's office this afternoon! Your daughter, whom you didn't even ask about, by the way, has an ear infection. It kept both of us up all night last night and when I finally realized what was wrong, I took her to the doctor.”

“What?”

“That’s right. By the time we got home, I had to give her her medicine and then I spent an hour trying to put her to sleep. So I'm sorry I didn't get around to my regular household chores. I'll work harder tomorrow." 

“Abbey…”

Her voice was eerily calm, devoid of any emotion whatsoever as she finished. "That's why I didn't cook dinner tonight." 

And with that, she exited the room and went into the nursery. Wanting to give her space to cool down, Jed sifted through the cabinets in search of something he could prepare for dinner. It took him an hour to turn the clean kitchen Abbey had left into a disaster zone, splattered with tomato sauce and littered with dirty pots and pans. 

After cleaning up the mess, he carried a dinner tray into the nursery and greeted his sleeping wife with a kiss to her cheek. Abbey stirred around the small bed as she woke up slowly.

"Hi," he said as soon as her eyes opened. "I brought you something to eat."

She glanced up at him, then her eyes followed the tray he put in front of her. "Salad?"

"With Italian on the side, just the way you like it. It's just an appetizer. I made some spaghetti, though I'm sure it's not as good as yours,” he said softly. "I'd love it if you'd join me for dinner…in the dining room. We don’t have to go out. We don’t have to change. We’ll do whatever you want, however you want. I just want you to eat something. You need to eat something."

"Thank you." She looked down at the tray and moved her fork around. "I'm sorry I was short with you before."

"Forget it," Jed replied with a warm smile. He sat on the floor, his back leaning against the bed and his face looking at Liz's crib in front of him. "How is she?" 

The tone of his voice made it clear that he felt like a jerk. 

"She'll be okay. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic."

"I had no idea. When I woke up this morning, you were making breakfast and I didn't know you stayed up with her all night. Why didn't you wake me?"

"You had an exam. You needed to sleep. I didn't figure out what was wrong with her until after you left for school. I think the pain just got worse this morning." Abbey paused for a few minutes before she called out to him. "Jed?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you really think I stay home and play with Liz all day?"

He turned around to face her. "No. I swear I don't. I don't know where that came from or why I said it."

"Sometimes it feels like that's all I do."

"Abbey, that isn't true. You run this entire house and you're so good at it. You're so good with her."

"It's not enough though, is it? You're killing yourself going to school full-time and teaching undergrad just to pay tuition. You're never here to spend time with her."

"What are you getting at?"

"I've been thinking. I'd like to go back to work.”

“No, Abbey. You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do. That way, you won't have to teach. We can put my salary towards the tuition and we’ll live off our savings for a while."

"Is this because of what I said?" Abbey lowered her head, giving him a silent confirmation. "Abbey, I'm so sorry for that."

"It's not just that. I enjoyed going to work everyday."

He turned his back to her, still sitting on the floor. "We'll both be gone during the day. We'll have to pay for a full-time sitter."

He threw his head back slightly as Abbey ran her fingers through his hair. "Then I'll work when you're home."

"My schedule changes day-to-day, especially now. I'll be putting in many extra hours at the library." He sensed the tension when she didn't reply. "I'm not trying to be difficult. We just can't afford a sitter right now and I just don't have the time..."

"And you won't until you graduate."

"Well, things might be a little more laxed next year. Besides, days like today, I'm really glad you were the one home with her."

Abbey felt the same. Even if she did go back to work, she had promised herself Lizzie would always come first. She'd never leave her if she was sick. It was important to her that Liz find comfort in her parents when something was wrong. Still, she craved adult interaction. She wanted so badly to be content with being a stay-at-home mom, but in the back of her mind, she hated herself for knowing that she wanted more. 

"Thank you for trying to get me more time with Lizzie," Jed added. 

"It's not just for you," she whispered. "Sometimes, I just need a break."

She finally said it out loud. Abbey loved her daughter more than she ever thought she could love another human being. Lizzie stole her heart from the second she was born. But being sheltered from the rest of the world was taking its toll. She deeply admired women who could do it, but it didn't take her long to figure out she wasn't one of them. 

She needed to go back to work, as much for her own mental well-being as for the money. Every time she began to tell Jed how she was feeling, her guilt would keep her quiet. She feared she'd come across as a bad mother or, from Jed's point of view, a bad wife. Now that she had confessed the secret she had hidden for so long, she waited curiously for his response.

Jed was stunned by her revelation. He struggled to find the words to express an appropriate reply. Then, several minutes later, he opened his mouth, but a concerned Abbey interrupted him before he said a word. 

"Let's go have dinner,” she said.

She picked up the tray and slipped out of bed. She took his hand and led him out of the room, leaving the conversation dangling in the air with no resolution or continuation whatsoever.

TBC


	10. Chapter Ten

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: After a hectic night with the baby and an argument with Jed, Abbey finally admitted her unhappiness with the situation.

Summary: Lord John Marbury makes an impression on Abbey. Jed keeps Abbey out of the loop!

\- - - 

July 1969

With the television blaring, a well-dressed Jed sat in a chair, whimsically flipping through the pages of a book he wasn't actually reading. He looked up every once in a while so his eyes could follow a frantic Abbey who scoured the apartment in search of accessories to accentuate the blue dress she was wearing.

"Why do you need the TV on when you're not even watching?" she asked as she darted in from the bedroom to pass by him on her way to the bathroom.

"It provides noise to cover up my growling stomach," he replied, tweaking her for making them late for dinner.

She stopped her search momentarily to turn her attention to her husband who responded with a subtle wink and a coy smile. She shook her head at him, then continued to rummage through the jewelry box she had now brought into the living room, occasionally holding up a pair of earrings for his opinion, and dropping them back into their soft, purple velvet case when he expressed his disapproval.

"You're right. None of these will work. I need silver." She glared at him.

"How many times do I have to apologize for that? Look, Abbey, you look great, even without earrings. Now can we go please?"

"No." She opened the closet door and ran her hands over her clothes. "Maybe I should go with the black dress. It'll match my gold earrings."

"Okay, that's it." Jed stood up and grabbed her arm to pull her away from the clothes. "I was going to wait until after dinner, but obviously, we're not even going to get to the restaurant unless I do it now. Come here."

He walked her over to the couch, reaching into his pocket along the way, and opened her hand to place a small gift in her palm. 

"Well that's romantic," she replied sarcastically.

"It's just one of your gifts. Open it."

Abbey examined it closely before tearing open the wrapping paper, causing Jed to smile at what he always considered to be her adorable, child-like quality. 

She lifted the top of the granite box to reveal two silver chandelier earrings. "Jed, they're beautiful."

"That's to make up for the pair I broke. Am I out of the doghouse yet?"

She stroked his cheek with her palm. "Yes."

"Happy Anniversary," he said with a kiss to her lips. "If you want the other little trinkets I picked out, we have to go…NOW."

"Wait! I need to pick out shoes."

Jed rolled his eyes, picked up the newspaper, and took his seat back in the chair. "You know, I can only read today's news so many times."

"I'm sure you haven't made it through the whole thing yet,” she hollered from the bedroom. “Read the article about global warming.”

He turned his head towards the sound of her voice. "What?"

Abbey reentered the room and sat on the couch to slide into a pair of taupe-colored pumps. "See? I knew you hadn't read everything. Experts have more proof that there's a warming trend around the world." 

"I've read all the REAL news. That story doesn't count. They've always suspected the world is getting warmer."

"But now a scientist in Mongolia says his country's experiencing the warmest weather of any other time in the past millennium and other scientists are backing him up, officially calling it a global warming."

With a look of pure skepticism on his face, Jed dropped the newspaper onto his lap. "Really? Because just last month, scientists at National Geographic warned of a new Ice Age. It's nice to know the greatest minds in the world are working tirelessly to accurately forecast our weather."

"This could be a serious problem decades from now."

He picked up the paper and glanced over it absently and mumbled under his breath, "Not that we'll be alive to see it. I will have died of starvation years before.”

Hearing his words, she stood up and towered above him, gazing down through eyes that flashed with indignation. "Jed, glaciers are melting."

"Newsflash, Abbey. Ice melts." He looked up over the edge of the paper, but didn't let her menacing glare intimidate him. 

"Jed."

He threw the paper down and crossed his hands in front of him. "We're either going to drown in the glaciers or freeze from the ice before we ever get dinner," he grumbled. "You know, even criminals get a final meal."

"I'm almost ready," she called out while running to the bedroom to get a final look at her outfit.

"Here we go. They're showing it again." He straightened his slouched body and devoted his attention to the news report on television. 

"'Tranquillity base. The Eagle has landed.' Those were American Buzz Aldrin's words as he watched fellow Astronaut Neil Armstrong walk on the moon," the news anchor said. Jed was fascinated by the use Armstrong's voice in the report. "'That's one small step for man but one giant leap for mankind.'"

Just as intrigued, Abbey poked her head out of the bedroom to watch the video. As soon as it was over, she presented herself to Jed with a bright smile. "I'm ready."

He had an ominous twinkle in his eye that Abbey knew wasn't a direct response to her declaration. "Not so fast, Abbey. I seem to remember a little promise you made several months ago...something about hanging out the window to offer up cheers when the first group of astronauts walked on the moon."

She cringed at her words. They were spoken out of skepticism after a few glasses of wine one night over dinner. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh no it's not, Sweet Knees." With a hand on the small of her back, he led her to the open window. 

"You actually want me to stick my head out the window?"

"More than anything." 

Abbey bent over, and forced her head outside. The compromising position coupled with the revealing neckline on her dress caused her breasts to overflow the hem. 

She turned her head slightly back to look at him. "You realize I'm giving the whole neighborhood a show, right?"

He tilted his head to the side to admire her rear. "It's not just the neighborhood, Sweetheart."

"Jed!"

He reacted with a flutter of his eyes. "You got this far. Go ahead."

"Go ahead what?"

"Cheer."

Realizing she had to make good on her promise, she rolled her eyes and turned her head, suddenly letting out a bloodcurdling scream at the sight of a raven-haired stranger standing only inches from her face and staring back at her with deep, steely eyes. Jed grabbed her hips and quickly pulled her inside.

"There's a man out there!" she shouted.

Jed peered out the window and laughed at what he saw. "That's not just a man."

"Well it sure as hell isn't a woman!"

"No, I mean, it's no one you need to fear." He turned back towards the window and addressed the stranger. "Go around to the front and I'll let you in," he said before turning his attention to a frightened Abbey. "Relax, Abbey. It's just a guy I know from school." 

Abbey followed him to the front door. "Your classmates just stand outside windows and stalk people? Geez, Jed, tell him to get a hobby."

"He's not my classmate. He's studying at Cambridge and teaches an undergrad class at LSE in the summer." Jed opened the door and in came the dark stranger in a black suit. "This is John Marbury."

"Lord John Marbury actually," he corrected him. 

"Yeah, we just call him Johnny at school," he jokingly whispered to Abbey. "This is my wife Abigail."

"Abigail. A beautiful name for such a beautiful woman." He lifted Abbey's hand and kissed it softly.

"Why thank you, Your Lordship." 

Noticing the rosy flush that washed over her cheeks, Jed's protective nature took over and he put his arm around her waist.

"Jed, I had no idea you had such a saucy wife. Just as a little aside. I don't know how you people do things in America, but here in England, a pretty girl like Abigail hanging out the window like that is practically asking for men to make crude advances or jokes about her breasts..." His turned his gaze to Abbey,"...which are exquisite by the way."

Perhaps it was the English accent or the air of charm that followed him in the room or Jed's sharp intake of breath and uncomfortable shifting of his shoes when Marbury made the comment about her breasts; whatever it was, Abbey liked him. He was outlandish and peculiar. Even a little mysterious.

Jed handed Marbury a textbook and attempted to rush him out the door. "Here's what you wanted. I'll see you Monday."

"Nice to meet you," Abbey called out to him.

Standing in the doorway with the door open, Marbury turned himself around. "By the way, Jed, I think your application package for Professor Lynn's research assistant position is pretty strong.”

Jed looked down and said softly, "Thank you.”

"Yeah, he's going to get it. I'm sure of it." he told a confused Abbey. "Well, I'm off!" And with that annoucnement, he closed the door and left.

"What are you going to get?" Abbey asked Jed. 

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Jed?"

Jed let out a sigh and led Abbey to the couch so they could sit down. "It's a research assistant position. My professor specifically asked that I apply."

"Jed!" She wrapped her arms around him, nearly suffocating him with the strands of hair that covered his mouth. "That's wonderful! Why didn't you tell me about this?"

He pulled out of the hug, his guilt now taking over. "Easy, Abbey. I don't have the job yet. He'll announce finalists in March and the position won't start until the next school year."

"I have faith in you.”

He took her hand in his. "It's always nice to hear that."

As he leaned in to give her a kiss, a feeling of pride filled Abbey's heart. She listened to him outline the reasons landing this particular job would be monumental to his future aspirations, mesmerized by the spark in his eyes, the passion in his voice, and the enthusiasm in his body language. Something as simple as his usual arm gestures were bigger, larger than life, and it made her wonder why he had kept her in the dark about something that was obviously so important to him.

But Jed couldn't tell her the truth. He didn't know how. Until there was substantial reason to believe he would get the job, he couldn't make her understand why he had to renege on their deal. 

He had promised her Harvard and she had been counting down the days until they would move back home. It was wrong to keep quiet, but he couldn't tell her, for what he was afraid to tell her was that if he was chosen for this position, it would add two additional years to their stay in London.

TBC


	11. Chapter Eleven

Story: The London Years

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Jed didn't tell Abbey the job he was applying for came with a stipulation -- an additional two years in London.

Summary: An early morning results in a playful Jed and Abbey.

\- - -

September 1969

His wet feet hit the cold-tiled floor causing his legs to shiver momentarily. He reached for the towel cradled on the rack next to him. After a quick rubdown of his face and hair, he wrapped it around his waist, securing the flap by folding it under. Jed left the bathroom and quietly scurried towards the nightstand. Each step was taken methodically with his feet just barely grazing the carpet so he could keep his eyes glued to Abbey. 

He coiled his wristwatch around his wrist and smiled at the beautiful look on her face which assured him she was sleeping peacefully. With her dark auburn hair sprawled out over her white pillow and the hint of an innocent grin outlining her features, he couldn't resist touching her. He brushed his fingertips over her face to pull back a few stray bangs and leaned down to softly press his lips to her forehead. As he stood back up, his hand continued to stroke the top of her hair. He noticed her subtly widening her smile.

"Abigail?" he whispered. No answer. "I know you're awake, Sunshine." Still no answer as Abbey tried to remain perfectly still. "Hmm. Okay." 

He left her bedside when he realized she was slowly opening one eye to watch him. She lost sight of him though as he walked to the other side of the bed to plop down on the mattress and tickle her unmercifully.

"You're evil!" she squeaked out through laughter.

"I learn from the master," he replied, now standing up to adjust the towel at his waist.

She propped herself up on her pillow and looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Why are you up so early?"

"I wanted to get a jump-start on my research this morning. I'm reaching a point in my dissertation that I'm really excited about."

"Aren't most of your classmates just starting their dissertations?"

"You wanted me done in four years, right?" 

She smiled at him. "Yeah."

Abbey sleepily rose out of bed as Jed walked back into the bathroom. "I just checked on Lizzie. She's still sound asleep."

"Good. She woke up with a bad dream around 3 in the morning." Her eyes wandered around the dresser in search of her reading glasses. 

"I've always wondered how babies can have nightmares. I mean, no offense, Sweet Knees, but is the womb that traumatic that it ignites a series of horrific subconscious memories once they're born?"

Abbey heard him, but chose to ignore his bait. "Jed, have you seen my glasses?"

"Where did you leave them?" he called out while applying shaving foam to his jaw.

"If I knew where I left them, I'd know where they were," she mumbled, now shuffling other items around the dresser.

"Abbey, if you'd leave things where they belong, you'd never have trouble finding them." 

His high and mighty attitude was too much to bear at the early morning hour, especially since Jed wasn't exactly meticulous about keeping his own things organized as evidenced by the crumpled boxers that lay on the floor at the foot of the bed. 

"Uh huh," she answered. A smirked and a arched left brow dominated her face and she let out a small breath before walking over to the abandoned undergarment and shoving it under the bed with her toe. 

"You can't just leave things lying around and expect them to be there when you're ready for them."

She couldn't believe he was still lecturing. "Whatever you say, Dear.” 

He walked out of the bathroom with a look of superiority that she wanted to slap off his face. She knew deep down that he only donned that expression to tease her and that he wasn't really as egotistical as he came off, but it made her crazy nonetheless. 

He was drawn to her as he reached onto the bed to pick up the undergarment he thought was there. He turned his attention to his fingers, which had just grasped the air and part of the sheet instead. "Have you seen..."

Abbey put her hands on the dresser behind her, heaving her chest forward. "What? Have you lost something?"

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he sensed she was playing one of her manipulative little games that secretly turned him on. "No."

“Okay.”

He smiled and continued rummaging around the sheets and comforter in a less obvious way. Without looking up, he knew she was staring at him, enjoying every moment. "Okay, I give up. Where is it?"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You know what. I laid out a pair of clean boxers right here on the bed. Where is it?"

"Let me understand this. You laid out a pair of boxers on the bed, even though your boxers clearly belong in the drawer. So, you put something where it really didn't belong and then you expected it to be there when you were ready for it?" Her head was down, but her sparkling green eyes rested on him.

"Where did you put it?"

"You think that little of me that you believe I would actually take your boxers?"

"Abbey?" He took a few steps towards her.

"That I would hide them from you?"

"Abigail?" He continued to approach her, closing the space between them.

"Do you really need it?"

His head lurched back at her question. "My boxers?"

"Yes."

"Yes, I think I do."

Abbey put her hands on his bare chest and walked around him. "I don't think you do. I think you can go without and that would be just fine," she whispered into his ear from behind just before her tongue made contact with his earlobe.

"As much as I’d like to, you know I don't have time for..." She blew her warm breath into his ear and, suddenly, he found it difficult to find his voice.

"Make time." It was an order given in a soft, seductive, yet forceful way as she yanked the towel from around his waist, leaving him completely exposed and vulnerable. 

Jed looked down at his naked body. He gathered his strength to deal with her flirtatious playfulness, knowing all along it would be a futile attempt. 

He turned to face her, but she held the towel just out of his reach and backed herself up until she hit the wall. He had her cornered, but he didn't expect her to duck and slip out of his hold to turn the tables on him. She was staring at him now, her fingers running through his chest hair and her nails lightly tickling his skin. 

"Don't start something we can't finish," he warned in between moans.

"Who says we can't finish it?" 

She fell her to her knees, her hands following her down his body. Her fingers curled around his penis and she looked up to see him throw his head back at the sensation. His legs felt weak when she erotically massaged him, sending tiny shockwaves through that part of his body. She flicked the tip with her tongue a few times and circled around the base to tease him, but soon realized he didn’t even need the foreplay. He was ready for the real thing.

She opened her mouth to completely take him in. Jed braced himself against the wall, his elbows digging in to the plaster behind him. His fingers were lost inside the strands of her shiny hair and he found himself struggling to stand. 

He held his breath and closed his eyes while feeling his muscles tense up just before his climax. Abbey kept her mouth on him until his unsteady legs gave way and he collapsed onto the floor, exhausted and breathless. 

"See? That took no time at all," she whispered, sitting down in front of him. His legs were still open and she glanced down while her hand ran up his leg. "Just sit here and relax, Babe."

She lifted the bedskirt and pulled out his boxers, twirling them around her index finger.

"I knew you had them." He was still breathless.

"I hate it when you lecture me."

"You really think I'll stop doing it if you punish me like this?"

"Of course not," she answered with a hint of manipulation in her voice. 

"You played me."

She picked herself up and turned her back to him. "That I did, Pumpkin." 

He watched as she continued her search for her glasses. Her legs were bare, all the way up to her short satin pajama bottoms, and when she bent over to scour the carpet, he felt his pulse racing again. He stood up quietly just as she found the light-rimmed glasses and placed them on her nose. He ambushed her from behind with one arm around her waist and another on her hips. 

She laughed uncontrollably and kicked her feet in protest. "What are you doing? You're going to wake Lizzie!"

He dropped her on the bed and turned her over onto her back, yanking the glasses off and throwing them onto the nightstand. "This is payback!" 

She half-heartedly struggled until he ripped off her panties and threw them across the room. As soon as he spread her legs, she reached for him, but he dismissed her and held her arms down on the bed. He lowered his face so his tongue could glide over the sensitive folds of skin. Her legs shuddered and tried to close, but as they sandwiched his head, his mouth fell deeper inside her until her back was arched so far up that her head was completely buried in the mattress. He slipped his arms under the backs of her knees and around to the front so he could keep her legs apart and her heels off the bed. 

This time, he was calling the shots. And she loved every minute of it!

\- - -

Present day - July 1970

A knock at the door jarred Abbey out of her memories and wiped the wistful smile off her face. For a moment, she thought it had to be him. But that slight glimmer of hope was dashed when she reminded herself that Jed would never knock. It was 5 a.m. and he wasn't home. Another explanation, she feared, was the police had finally arrived to tell her the news she had been dreading.

She took a deep breath and straightened her posture, trying to prepare herself for what was about to happen. With one look through the peephole, she let out the tension and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Lila?" Abbey invited the other woman inside the apartment.

"I'm so sorry to bother you this early."

"I haven't gone to bed, so actually it's late." 

Lila was visibly frazzled and nervous. "Is Tom here?"

Abbey became more alarmed. "No. And neither is Jed."

"He didn't come home last night."

"Neither did Jed."

The two women stood inches from one another. Through their eyes, they communicated the unspoken words they were afraid to verbalize.

TBC


	12. Chapter Twelve

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 12

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: In the present, Lila showed up with news that Tom hadn't come home either

Summary: Abbey remembers the turning point in her marriage

\- - - 

Present day - July 1970

Abbey nervously carried two cups of tea into the living room. Her trembling hands placed one on the coffee table in front of the sofa. With her figures firmly grasped around the other, she took a seat next to Lila.

"Why did you leave the party?" she asked.

"Why did you?" Lila replied, causing Abbey to sit back with a twinge of uneasiness showing on her face. "What was your fight with Jed about?"

"Tonight? Lila, Jed and I have been having trouble for a while now."

"I know. Forgive me for saying so, but I've noticed." Her candor wasn't unexpected. "So what's the problem?"

With a halfhearted chuckle, Abbey answered, "What isn't?" She looked up to see the serious look on the other woman's face. "He didn't tell you?"

Lila shook her head. "He always pretends that everything is fine. I guess he figures if he complains, he'd have to tell me why he's so angry with you...why you're so angry with him. For what it's worth, he's never uttered one negative word about you, Abbey. Not a single one."

She felt a warm flush wash over her body. Hearing Lila's words made her remember the integrity of the man she married. "That's good to know."

Lila nodded and placed her cup on the coffee table before turning a sympathetic ear to her friend. "When did it start?"

\- - -

Late November 1969

Bundled up in winter clothes, Lila and Abbey watched from the sidewalk as their husbands removed items from the moving truck. Jed lifted a box under his arms and walked down the ramp, grunting the entire time. 

"What the hell do you have in here?" he asked Tom. "I feel like I'm carrying one of Abbey's suitcases."

His hostility was met with a snarky sigh from Abbey. 

"Actually, that's my China," Lila told him. 

"I don't ask. I just lift and carry," Tom whispered to Jed, who nodded and smiled. 

Abbey opened her mouth to respond, but her voice betrayed her as her eyes were enthralled by the red pick-up truck that pulled up next to them. The door opened and two pairs of feet hit the pavement. Attached were two tall, dark, and handsome strangers wearing tight turtlenecks and jeans that seemed to hug every curve of their masculine lower bodies. 

"Who are they?" Abbey asked with enough interest in her voice to cause Jed to snap his head back towards his wife. 

"Some friends of Tom's. They're here to help."

Abbey eyed them up and down, taking in the sight with a flirtatious tilt of her head as one of them flashed her a smile. Jed looked at the man, his eyes darting back and forth between him and his wife. He set down the box he was holding, swaggered towards Abbey, and coiled his arm around hers. 

She chuckled at his predictable habit. "You're so cute."

"Just remember I'm here," he lightheartedly warned. 

"How could I forget?" she asked with a kiss to his cheek. "And just so we’re clear, I’m just teasing you. So, you'll be relieved to know that I'm going to go back to our apartment to make us all some tea to warm us up."

"I'll help," Lila offered.

Abbey nodded then looked back at Jed. "Put your jacket on. It's freezing out here."

"Okay," he said, dismissing her with a wave of his hand.

As they traipsed next door, Abbey kept her head turned towards her husband, watching closely until he finally covered himself with his jacket. 

Once she and Lila were inside, Abbey held on to the door, her eyes never leaving Jed. "Ten bucks says he'll rip that thing off the second we close the door." 

With a wink of her eye, she closed herself off from the scene outside and joined Lila in the kitchen. 

"I'm so excited about this," Lila admitted.

"Me too. It's nice to finally have friends as neighbors. The previous renters were an older couple who never really had much of an interest in socializing." Her words seemed forced, her mind distracted, as she gazed out the window across the room. 

"What is it?"

She shook her head disapprovingly. "Jed took his jacket off. He never listens to me."

Lila turned the faucet to run the water in the sink. "Abbey, take it from someone who’s been married for eight years. I can assure you it won't get any better over time."

"Eight years. Jed and I just celebrated our second anniversary. I have no doubt we’ll be as happy and devoted to each other as you and Tom are in eight years."

"Oh eight years is nothing! Find me in 40 years and we'll talk," she laughed. "Actually, it takes a lot of work. A lot of communication, a lot of compromises."

"Like you not applying for that research position?" Abbey asked while filling up the kettle and placing it on the stove. 

"Jed told you." Abbey nodded. "I wanted to...God knows I wanted to. But there's no way Tom would have gone along with it."

"I don't understand why." Abbey rested her elbows on the kitchen counter and listened attentively. 

"He's not as understanding as you. When we came to London, I promised him as soon as I got my doctorate, we'd go back to New York. If I went to him now and said 'guess what, honey, we have to spend an extra two years here,' he would be livid."

There was no mistaking the look of pure confusion on Abbey's face. "Two years?"

"Yeah. The position is three years. It starts the final year of school and extends two years after. Didn't Jed tell you?"

She was desperate to cover up her ignorance. She straightened herself up and smiled. "Yeah. He did. He just said it was a three-year position so when you mentioned two years, it caught me off-guard."

"Hey!" Jed called from the doorway as he and Tom walked inside carrying a bottle of wine along with four glasses. 

"What's all this?"

"Just what we need for a mini-celebration," Tom answered his wife.

"Abbey and I are making tea."

"We can have that if you’d like, but this is better!"

Abbey’s stare cut right into Jed. She hid it with a grin, but so many raw emotions plagued her mind. She never would have believed the man she knew, the man she loved would have kept something so important from her. He hadn't even discussed it with her. She shot him a look, one of pure anger hidden under an illusion of cheerfulness to appease their guests. 

She didn't fool Jed though. He handed her a glass and immediately sensed an something was wrong. "What’s going on?"

She shook her head at him and bit her tongue, knowing she had to wait until they were alone. "Nothing."

Jed put his arm around her and Abbey fought off the urge to shrug him away. She silenced the little voice in her head that encouraged her to walk out of the room and swallowed back her emotions to put on a show for their new neighbors. 

Tom and Lila joked and teased one another, but Abbey stood there, emotionally perplexed by Lila's revelation. She was so disengaged from the conversation that it was difficult not to notice. She saw the spark between her two guests, the love that radiated from every word, every touch between them. Then she looked at her own husband, her feelings now tainted by the secret he kept from her. 

That evening, Jed propped himself up in bed, resting his back against the headboard. He watched as Abbey sat at her vanity and brushed her hair, each stroke a little more forceful than the last. 

He finally broke the silence. "Are you going to tell me about it?" 

"What?"

"Whatever it is that's got you so upset."

"I just put Lizzie to bed. I don't want to wake her."

He sat up, more alert than before. "Why would you talking to me wake her?"

"When were you going to tell me that you want to stay in London?"

There they were. The words he dreaded. They were angry and harsh. He looked down at the bed and it was obvious to her this was the last thing he was expecting. She looked in the mirror to see his reflection behind her, hoping he'd lift his head and give her an answer that would help her understand.

"I tried to tell you..." he started, refusing to meet her gaze.

"But you didn't. So I had to sit here smiling like an idiot while Lila told me the details of this position." He didn't respond. "Why did I have to hear it from her?"

He tried to inject some humor to lighten the mood. "Would you believe me if I told you I simply forgot to mention it?"

Abbey wasn't amused. She turned in her chair with a look so stern, it immediately gave him pause. "You want the job and you want to make a life here, don't you?"

"We already have a life here," he said softly.

"It was supposed to be temporary."

Her icy tone threatened to provoke his temper as well. "Look, I haven't made any decisions yet. I was approached and asked to apply. I said okay."

His stare followed her as she stood up with a fire he had never seen before. "YOU haven't made any decisions? I was under the impression these kinds of decisions were OUR decisions, not just yours."

"You know what I mean."

"No, I really don't. Not anymore." She turned her back to him.

"Don't turn away from me. Let's talk." 

"There's nothing to talk about,” she snapped as she spun around. “You already applied!"

"This is why I didn't tell you," he blurted out, causing her to turn on him once again.

"Ah, now we get to the truth of the matter. It wasn't because you were absent-minded, it was because you knew this is how I'd react."

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Why does everything have to be planned out years in advance? Why does it have to be so structured with no room for fluctuation? Why can't you ever just let go and change plans now and then?"

Abbey couldn’t believe her ears. Not only had he kept her out of the loop, he now implied that he did it intentionally. "Change plans? Like I did when I agreed to postpone my own life to follow you to London?"

Her voice was laced with a cold regret that stung him to his core. "Postpone your life? You're living your life! I didn't force you into this, Abbey. This was YOUR choice!"

"Yes and I thought it would be temporary! I trusted you when you told me that! I see now I was wrong."

"You weren't wrong. I'm not going to take the job," he conceded. "I just wonder why we can't even contemplate the possibility of staying in London."

"You can contemplate it all you want. Just do it without me." She hastily grabbed her pillow and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

Without another word, she slammed the door.

The next morning, Abbey stood next to her daughter's crib and watched as the little girl rolled herself up into a ball and stirred around. She was grateful that Elizabeth was a sound sleeper so she couldn't hear her mother tossing and turning all night. The night before was the first time she and Jed hadn't shared a bed since they became husband and wife. 

Liz looked up at her mother with red, sleepy eyes and extended her arms. "Mommy!" 

"Good morning, Angel."

Abbey put the toddler on her wobbly feet and took her hand to walk her into the kitchen. As soon as they turned the corner, Liz let go of her mother and called out for her father who was sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee.. 

He pulled out his chair and reached for Liz, folding her up in his arms the second she hurried towards him. "Hey, Sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" 

He exchanged a long, tense glance with Abbey then pulled Liz up into his lap and ran a few fingers through her baby-fine hair. 

"She slept soundly," Abbey told him.

He couldn't stop looking at her and though he was tempted to avoid talking for fear of starting another argument, he decided to take his chances. “Hi.”

"I need to start breakfast," she replied as she walked past him to get to the stove.

Jed stood up with Liz still in his arms. "I already made some eggs." She turned to face him and he answered her question before she asked it. "I've been up a while."

Abbey nodded silently. She didn't need him to tell her. She had heard him bustling around the apartment for hours. "Then I'll warm up some toast."

He walked Liz to her high chair and strapped her in, then approached Abbey. Even though she had her back to him, she could hear his footsteps getting closer. Part of her wanted to drop her guard and just talk to him. The other part prayed he wouldn't try to touch her out of fear of her reaction. She was still too angry. 

But he did touch her. He placed two gentle hands on her shoulders and leaned down to press his lips into the soft skin of her neck. She shrugged him off and brushed past him. Jed realized there was a possibility she would reject his gesture, but he didn't anticipate the cloud of cool air that seemed to be surrounding her. It left him completely clueless about how to handle the situation. 

He had never seen Abbey so upset before and he ached for the hurt he knew she was feeling. But he was also engulfed in his own anger - anger towards himself for not being honest with his wife, anger towards the helplessness he felt to make things right with her, and finally, anger towards her for not letting him. All those emotions clouded him in a fog of confusion until he no longer knew how to find a way out of the mess he had created. 

"Hey, Lizzie, we'll be right back." He said to his daughter before he took Abbey's hand and led her into their bedroom. 

“Jed, what are you doing?”

He walked her in and closed the door. "Is this how it's going to be all day?"

"I don't know. You have all the answers. You tell me."

"Let's talk about this, Abbey."

"The time to talk would have been months ago. Not now." 

She reached for the door, but the anguish in his voice forced her to stop.

"Listen to me, please." Abbey kept one hand on the doorknob, but didn't move. "It was an offer by a professor I respect very much. He came to me, he asked me to apply. I didn't see the harm in it at the time." With no response from her, he reluctantly added, "I'll withdraw my name if it'll make you happy."

She heard the reluctant surrender. It only added fuel to the already-raging fire inside of her. Of course she wanted him to withdraw his name, but not because she forced him to. If he quit now, before knowing whether or not he'd get the offer, she feared he'd resent her for it forever. 

It would be a pointless gesture anyway, as they both realized his token of remorse wouldn't erase the months he spent purposely misleading her. "Don't do me any favors." 

The frigid response came with the twist of the doorknob and her exit from the room. 

"Fine," Jed shouted back as he followed her into the kitchen.

Never had he felt such distance between him and his family as he did the moment he watched Abbey sit down and begin to feed Liz. He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and left the apartment without a single word. 

Liz turned around in her chair, reacting to the sound of the door. "Daddy?"

"He'll be home tonight, Sweetie," Abbey assured her while blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

TBC


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 13

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Lila broke the news to Abbey that Jed's job opportunity would require a three-year commitment; Jed dealt with Abbey’s wrath

Summary: Jed tries to reach out to Abbey

\- - -

Present day - July 1970

Lila sat silently and listened to the hurt in Abbey's voice. She had heard that same tone before - from Jed. "I didn't know that I was the one who spilled the beans."

"It's not your fault. The truth is that isn't where all the trouble started. I had been feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated for months before. And it wasn't just this that caused our blow-up at the party tonight. It's just that finding out that he kept something so important from me began a chapter of mistrust and miscommunication in our lives. I started to wonder if being married was really what I wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jed. With all my heart, I love him. But I began to wonder if he was the same man I married…the one who looked me in the eye back in New England and told me that after four years, we’d return so that he could support my dreams. That man was selfless and sensitive. He was honest. This man…I was mad at him for not telling me and I was also mad at myself for not knowing. But no matter what, there was something inside of me that convinced me that despite what happened, he really did love me. And I never stopped loving him, Lila. Never."

\- - -

Early December 1969

Jed stood in the hall and looked on as Abbey carried Elizabeth towards the Christmas Tree. Liz's face beamed with excitement each time she reached out her hands to grab the multicolored lights, even though they weren't lit. Abbey held her back, letting out a few laughs at her daughter's tenacity.

He didn't want to interrupt the sweet moment, especially since he hadn't seen Abbey in such a good mood since her conversation with Lila days earlier. Abbey hadn't moved back into their bedroom. One night, she slept on the sofa. Two other nights, she took the bed in Liz's room. She avoided private conversations with him and though she was civil to him, he knew she was merely restraining her temper in the presence of their young daughter.

So he watched silently as she put Liz on her feet and took her hand to lead her into the kitchen. Liz kicked her legs and began to whine when her mother strapped her in to her high chair, but Abbey lovingly reasoned with her and calmed her mood by handing her a sippy cup filled to the rim with juice. 

Jed took in the sight before making his move. Finally, he greeted the toddler with a kiss to her face. "Good morning, Sweetheart.”

“Daddy!" Liz enthusiastically declared, bringing a smile to Jed's face.

"Yes, Daddy's up now." He gingerly approached Abbey, who was handling a skillet on the stove. "Can I help?"

"Everything's already cooked. Have a seat."

After a quick glance at what she was cooking, Jed sat down next to Liz. "Your Mom makes the very best French Toast."

"Thank you," she replied as she set a plate in front of him.

His eyes followed her to the other side of the table. "Aren't you going to eat?" 

"I'm not hungry."

“Not hungry or just desperate to avoid sharing a meal with me?”

“If that were the case, I wouldn’t have had dinner with you last night.” Abbey uncomfortably turned to Liz, a few awkward minutes passing before she spoke again. "Can you watch Lizzie tonight? I want to do some Christmas shopping."

"Of course. I'll be home at 6." After mentally debating the pros and cons of reaching out to her, knowing it might lead to yet another disagreement, he decided to risk it. "Can we talk when you get back?" She didn't answer. "I miss you, Abbey.”

His sincere words warmed her heart and he noticed the little twitch in her neck that gave him a glimmer of hope, a sign, perhaps, that she missed him too. 

"Yeah,” she said softly.

That evening, Abbey waited eagerly for his return, gazing at the clock every few minutes once the little hand struck six. But as the seconds continued ticking by and he hadn't arrived, her frustration strengthened the anger she was already feeling. 

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked a startled Liz who was closely admiring the Christmas tree. 

Liz faced the discouraging look her mother was shooting across the room and eventually broke the silence that followed with a giggle. Abbey offered up a soft laugh in response and gently took her hand. 

"Come over here and help Mommy, you little sneak."

She sat Liz on the kitchen counter and handed her a rattle to keep her distracted. Despite several verbal warnings from Abbey, Liz inched herself closer to the edge. Abbey caught the toddler just before she launched herself off the counter. It was obvious from the tone of her irritated voice, she was in no mood for games.

"Are you going to do everything I tell you not to today?" Liz turned her stare to the floor with quivering lips that melted Abbey's heart. She kneeled down, cupped her daughter's chin, and lifted her head up. "You need to listen to me, okay, Sweetie?" 

With a kiss to Liz's cheek, she sat her down on the carpet and surrounded her with her favorite toys. When the door sprang open, Liz scrambled to her feet, her face beaming with joy at the image of her father coming home. 

"Hey," he called out to Abbey as he greeted Liz.

"It's 8:00," she replied.

"I know. I tried to call twice."

"Really? I was here all day."

Jed cringed at her tone, but struggled not to respond in kind. "I tried to call, Abbey. If I had more time, I would have tried harder. The line was busy." His eyes fell to the detached phone laying on the sofa. "This could be why."

Abbey lowered her head and nodded. "Sorry. Lizzie must have been playing with it while I was cooking dinner." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Liz approaching the tree once again. "Get away from the tree." She was a bit more forceful this time and Liz backed away slowly. 

"Is she still doing that?"

"Yes and I thought you were going to get a fence or something to put around it."

"Yeah. I forgot."

"Of course you did."

He took a deep breath, but it didn't calm his own hostility. "Look, as much as I've been enjoying these daily tongue lashings, I'm wondering if we can postpone this one? I'm exhausted."

As her face flashed towards her husband, she caught her daughter grabbing onto the string of Christmas lights and rushed to stop her. "Elizabeth, I told you to stay away from the tree!" she yelled, tapping her on the back of her hand and pulling her fingers away. 

"Abbey! She's a baby!" Jed shouted as he ran to his daughter and picked her up when tears began to pool in her eyes.

"I told her countless times.”.

"She doesn't understand."

"She understands the word no."

Liz buried her head in Jed's shoulder as he soothingly patted her on the back. "Shhh, it's okay, Angel. Mommy didn't mean to hit you," 

"I didn't hit her!" Abbey immediately refuted the claim. "I pulled her hand away."

"You hit her hand. And we agreed that you and I would not hit our kids."

"I tapped her hand - very lightly - to get her away from the tree. Don't make it sound like I beat her."

"I'm just saying there are other ways to discipline children."

She folded her arms in front of her and bit down on her lower lip. "You know what, Jed, for someone who's barely home, I find it incredible that you can walk in here and be so judgmental."

"I'm not judging you."

"Yes, you are. I wasn't disciplining her. I reacted to prevent her from pinning herself under the tree, something she almost did last year, by the way, and something that wouldn't have happened if you had put up the fence like you were supposed to."

"That isn't a reason to hit her."

Visibly upset by the accusation, Abbey paused to catch her breath. "I didn't hurt her."

Jed's concentration was fully devoted to the crying baby in his arms when he made his hasty reply. "That's exactly how my father used to rationalize it!" He swung his head back, realizing the words that just came out of his mouth. 

“Your father?”

"That's not what I meant," he said with a firm grip to her wrists to stop her from turning away. Abbey pushed him aside and left the room. "Abbey, I didn't mean it!" 

His voice was silenced by the loud sound of yet another slamming door. He held Liz tighter as her cries became louder and followed his wife into the nursery.

"I didn't mean that," he insisted. "You know I didn't mean it."

"Let's not do this in front of her." She ran a comforting hand over Liz's face. 

Jed nodded agreeably and handed her the baby. "Fine. I need some air."

The powerful sound of the front door closing resonated through the apartment, slightly jolting Abbey.

When he returned that night, Jed walked back into the nursery. He stood in the doorway and spied on Abbey rocking their daughter to sleep. Holding on to a stuffed animal with her fingertips, Lizzie rested her tiny head on her mother's shoulder. 

Abbey cautiously stood up and walked over to the crib. Jed held his breath in hopes of suppressing any intruding sound when he saw her pick up Liz's hand and place a tender kiss on the back before gently placing her in the crib and covering her with a blanket. 

"That was precious," he whispered.

Abbey turned around quickly, surprised to see him standing there. "I thought you were out."

"Yeah, I just got back. I bought a fence for the tree. I'll put it up tonight."

"Thank you."

"What is that?" he asked, referring to the teddy bear Liz was cradling in her arms.

Abbey placed her finger on her lips and signaled him to follow her out of the room. "I just spent an hour trying to get her to fall asleep. Let's not wake her." 

Jed nodded. “Okay. What’s with the teddy bear?”

"I picked it up for her a few days ago. I was going to wait until Christmas, but decided to give it to her tonight instead."

"Why?" he asked. 

"When you squeeze his hand, the Christmas tree on his bib lights up. I hope it'll take her mind off the real tree."

Jed offered an approving smile at the loving present. "I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

“I just want you to know that not a day goes by that I don't thank God you're Elizabeth's mother."

"Is that why you compared me to your father?"

"No, I didn't. I know how it came across, but I was angry. It slipped out without me even realizing what I was saying. I could never compare you to him."

The fact that she, too, was guilty of blurting things out went a long way in persuading her to give him a break. "Okay. You did have one valid point. I was mad at her. I yelled at her. I scared her. And I didn't mean to. I do regret that. I just wanted her away from that damn tree."

"I know. You did what you had to do to keep her from getting hurt. I wish I could go back in time and erase what I said from your memory."

"Let’s just forget it."

"I don't want to forget it because it's just one more thing that's going to drive a wedge between us." He picked up her hand and silently said a short prayer that she wouldn't pull away. "Will you come back to our room? Please?" The look of hesitation on her face didn't deter him. "Can we at least talk?"

"Yeah." 

He felt a small sense of relief that she was finally willing to put her stubborn pride aside and listen to him. "There are so many people up for this job. If I get it...can't we just cross that bridge when we come to it?"

"Jed, you don't understand. If you had just come to me and told me the truth, we could have talked about it. Instead, you made a decision that affects all three of our lives without so much as a word."

"I didn't know how to tell you. I knew I was being selfish and it was hard to admit that, but, Abbey, this job is going to open so many possibilities for me. It could lead to so many opportunities."

"Here."

"Yeah. But if not here, anywhere. It would build up my resume. It could help no matter where we end up."

"And what about me? What am I supposed to be doing for the additional two years?”

“You could go back to work, or go to school here, or you could stay home with Lizzie if you want. We’ll figure it out.”

“You know I adore that little girl and I love being her mother, but I was also looking forward to med school."

"They have med schools here. We'll do some research and pick out the best one. With your undergrad record and MCAT scores, I’m sure you’ll get in."

“The MCAT is only good for AMERICAN schools, Jed!”

“Then we’ll find out what the British schools need and we’ll do it. Whatever it takes to get you in, Abbey.”

She shook her head. "No."

“No what?”

“No! That was not our deal! I wanted to go to Harvard. Ever since high school, it’s been my dream to go to medical school at Harvard. I even went to a school that offered me a scholarship for undergrad just so I could afford to go to grad school at Harvard. You knew that.”

“You’re right, I did know that. But I didn’t know it was this important. I assumed that med school is med school.”

“Get out of my way.” She skirted past him.

He followed. "You won't support me on this?"

"I've always supported you."

"Until now." The words were harsh, likely provoking a rebuttal.

"That isn't fair. You know why I'm against this."

"What isn't fair is that you won't even consider continuing your education here, in London. You could find a school you love just as much or more than Harvard, but you won’t even give it a try." He reached for her hand, but she refused him. “Abbey, just see what’s available. After you look around, read some brochures, take a few tours, if you still don’t like the schools here, then we’ll go back.”

"The deal was that once you got your degree, we'd go home."

He stared at her with eyes of steel, but quickly realized they were at an impasse. "Fine. You win. If I get the job, I'll turn it down." He threw his hands up in the air and turned sharply to walk into their bedroom.

"Jed!” She called after him unsuccessfully. 

It only took him a few minutes to come bellowing back out. "Abbey!" He yelled as he reentered the living room. "Did you think you were being cute?"

"Excuse me?"

He held up his pack of cigarettes, turning it upside down and letting the tiny pieces spill onto the couch. "They've all been cut to the filter. You ruined a perfectly good pack of cigarettes."

"You shouldn't be smoking. You're putting poison in your body."

"You're not my mother. What I put in my body is none of your business."

He threw the empty package down on the floor and retreated back into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, twisting his body in a vain effort to stretch out the tension. His head snapped towards the door when Abbey came barreling in. 

"Let's get something straight, Jackass! I wish you would quit. They’re bad for you. They could KILL you! So yeah, I did cut them. Not because I'm your mother..." she trailed off and took a breath to calm herself, "...but because I love you."

Those three words still moved him like no other. When she spoke them, it sent a warm sensation throughout his body and suddenly, all that mattered was making up with her. "I'm sorry."

She lowered her head in a silent acceptance of his apology. He noticed the pillow she was carrying under her arm. He pulled back the covers on her side of the bed and reached out a hand to her. Once again, she shrugged off the gesture and walked slowly towards the bed.

"If you get the job, we'll talk. No promises," she said softly. She slid her fully dressed body under the blanket and laid back. 

He hovered over her shoulder and whispered into her ear. "I was wrong to keep you in the dark about this. I was wrong to mislead you."

The words he offered were comforting, but not enough to make her respond. She pulled the blanket up to her neck and tightened her grip around the soft fabric. He watched her close her eyes and took a long breath before stretching out on his side of the bed.

TBC


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 14

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Still angry, Abbey moved back into the bedroom she shares with Jed

Summary: Christmas Day at the Bartlets brings a little peace to Jed and Abbey's marriage

\- - -

Christmas Day 1969

Abbey opened the door to the apartment and lightly kicked her feet against the frame to knock the remnants of snow off her boots and onto the concrete outside. Lizzie watched her mother intently, mimicking her movements and clapping her hands when she was finished. 

Abbey chuckled as she bent down to pick her up. "Good girl!"

"Pwesents?" she asked, reminding her mother of the bribe she offered to get the toddler to behave in church.

She sat Elizabeth on the sofa and held her leg in the air to slip off her boots. "Not yet."

After tossing her own coat over the arm of a chair, she helped Liz to her feet, turned her around, and slid her winter garments off her body. Liz's eyes never left the Christmas tree or the colorfully-wrapped presents underneath. 

Abbey followed her daughter's gaze. Recognizing that twinkle in her eye, she picked her up before she made an attempt to outrun her mother and grab the gifts. Liz kicked her feet in protest, but stopped as soon as the door swung open, giving her a view of the jolly old stranger who appeared in front of her. Frightened, she sank her head onto Abbey's shoulder.

The stranger greeted the little girl with a hearty smile. "Ho, Ho, Ho." 

While Liz buried her face deeper into Abbey’s skin, Abbey couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as she saw her husband in his best Kris Kringle impression. "Look, Lizzie, it's Santa Claus.”

She pulled her daughter’s body away from her own to show her there was nothing to be scared of, but Liz refused to entertain the thought. Abbey attempted to hand her to Jed, but the toddler clung to Abbey with fingers of steel intertwined around the fabric of her sweater. A trembling lip threatened to induce a flood of tears with one look at the man in the red and white suit. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, Lizzie," Jed bellowed out, still in character.

"Lizzie, Sweetie, it's Santa. Remember Father Christmas? We saw him at Harrods last week." 

Elizabeth jerked her head back around, away from Jed, and began to whimper quietly. Abbey looked up and nodded to Jed, signaling him to drop the beard and relinquish the act.

"Hey, Angel," he simply said with a hand on Lizzie’s tiny back.

Elizabeth relaxed her body slightly at the sound of the recognizable voice.

Abbey turned her own body to give Liz a view of the beardless Jed. "Look, Sweetheart, it's just Daddy. He's trying to trick you." 

"Daddy?" Liz asked to be sure it was really him.

"Come here." His arms extended to grab her, Liz leapt into his embrace, staring at his face the entire time. "See, it's just me. Nothing to be scared of."

Her eyes burned into his. Every time his head moved, so did Liz. It didn't take long for Jed to realize she had fixated on something.

"What is she doing?" Abbey asked.

Liz glared at him diligently and then, slowly, she reached up and clawed him right above his eye. 

"Hey!" Jed shouted.

"It's the eyebrows," Abbey realized. "She's scared of the eyebrows."

“Oh, Lizzie, these are just pretend. Let me show you.” Jed ran his fingers over the fake grayish-white brows he had glued over his real ones. He began to peel one of them back, but stopped just as the adhesive separated from the skin. "How do they expect you to get these things off?"

"Let me," Abbey offered. She gently pulled the brow away from his real hair. 

Jed flinched from the pain. "Ow." 

His grumble caused Liz to close her eyes while Abbey continued.

"I'm sorry," she said, pressing her thumb over the irritated skin. 

"Daddy's okay," Jed assured Liz once Abbey removed both brows.

"Daddy has a boo-boo,” Abbey told her. “Do you want to kiss it and make it better?"

“Boo-boo?” Responding to her mother's voice, Lizzie stretched her little body up towards her father's face and placed a kiss on his forehead, missing the actual target. 

"Thank you, Sunshine. You ready to open presants?” 

“Pweasants!” Her face lit up with the mention of the word. She didn't even know or care what it actually meant. All she really wanted to do was rattle the shiny little trinkets she had been admiring for more than a week. 

Jed sat her down in front of the tree and put a small red and gold gift-wrapped box in front of her. With help from her mother, Lizzie tore at the paper until the doll inside fell to the ground. She looked down at her hands then pushed the doll aside in favor of the visually appealing wrapping paper she was still holding. 

Abbey shook her head just in time for Jed to snap a picture. She handed Liz another present, but the little girl was too entranced in the vibrant colors of the paper to notice. "So next year, we don't actually have to buy the gift."

With a hand to help her up, Jed lifted Abbey to her feet. "Let's just let her play with that while you and I take care of our own business."

"What are you doing?" she asked as he led her to the sofa and sat down, pulling her around onto his lap.

"What does it look like? Just sit on Santa's lap and enjoy it." He brushed her light bangs to the side of her forehead and stared into her eyes. "You're so beautiful."

“You’re a charmer, Santa.” 

"How about a truce, Abbey? Just for today. In honor of Christmas."

Abbey wrapped her fingers around his hair and nodded. "I’d like that." 

She leaned forward, reached under the sofa, and presented him with a large square-shaped gift. 

"I thought we agreed we were going to save our money and spend it on Lizzie."

"I couldn't resist," she replied

He lifted her off his lap to make his way to the tree and returned with a gift he had set aside just for her. 

"This has Lizzie's name on it," she told him.

"Yeah, I did that on purpose so you wouldn't go snooping around when I was at school." He knew her so well. 

“You’re a little sneak.” She casually slapped his arm. "Open yours first."

Jed examined the box and began to pick at the wrapping paper slowly.

"Just tear it, Jed," Abbey urged. 

Laughing at her impatience, he ripped it open to pull out a brown leather briefcase with a removable strap and matching pad folio. Upon careful inspection, he noticed his initials embossed on the front. 

"Abbey, it's beautiful."

"I’m glad you like it. I figure you're going to have to start looking like the professional you are."

"Thank you." Jed leaned over the two gifts that separated their bodies and placed a loving kiss on her lips. "Your turn."

Abbey didn't need much prodding to tear through the wrapping paper and reach the burgundy velvet dress inside. Her reaction conveyed the emotions of gratitude and amazement that overwhelmed her.

"Is it the one?" he asked.

"How did you know?"

"Lila told me you tried it on a few weeks ago when you two went shopping. She said you didn't want to spend the money to buy it since we were going all out for Lizzie."

Abbey wasn't sure why she was so surprised. This was Jed. The sweet, thoughtful, caring man she married. He may have been acting unexpectedly the past few weeks, but his heart still beat for all the right reasons. To be reminded of the qualities that drew her to him in the first place was exactly what she needed. 

She was lost in her thoughts until he waved a hand in front of her face to get her attention. "I'm sorry. What?"

"I said I thought the dress would be perfect for tonight. Are you okay?"

She nodded and encouraging him to turn his attention to the confetti-dotted carpet, all compliments of Liz's new adoration for the gold and red wrapping paper. Jed slid off the sofa and pulled his daughter onto his lap to assist her in opening the remainder of her gifts. 

Later that evening, Abbey turned her back to her mirror, catching the reflection of the back of her new dress. She ran a few fingers through her auburn hair, separating the strands of loose, sassy curls and with a quick splash of perfume, she was ready to greet Tom and Lila for Christmas dinner. 

She left the bedroom and let out a small gasp at the beautiful table setting in the dining room. Each plate sat atop the dazzling red organza tablecloth which shimmered with snowflake confetti. Four wine glasses sparkled under the light above, each stem sprinkled with just a dusting of white glitter. A large glass bowl filled with red candycanes and snow-white feathers sat at the center of the table while the crystal candleholders they were given as a wedding gift accentuated both ends. 

She eyed her husband adoringly. "You did all this while I was getting ready?"

Jed whipped his head around and immediately lost his train of thought. "Wow, you're simply gorgeous." He admired every curve in her figure before answering her question. "Yeah, I did it while you were getting ready. It's no big deal."

Abbey wandered around the table to study the decorations he set out. "Where did you get this stuff?"

"I read an article."

"Where?"

"In a magazine Lila brought to school. It had some interesting tips in it, so in between classes, I read it."

"Really?"

He replied with a mischievous grin. "How else was I supposed to wine and dine you tonight, Sweet Knees?" 

He called her Sweet Knees. Those two little words that he hadn't spoken since Thanksgiving extinguished the tension between them, replacing it with a warm twinge of emotions that swelled inside of her. She walked up beside him and watching him rinse Liz's cup in the sink, she fought the urge to sweep away the few strands of stray hair that were shadowing his forehead.

"Go get dressed. Tom and Lila will be here any minute," she gently reminded him instead.

He put the cup on top of the counter and flashed her a quick smile before making his way down the hallway to their room. 

A significant portion of the dinner conversation that night revolved around Tom and Lila. It didn't go unnoticed that Abbey was wildly intrigued by the couple. Their individual personalities as well as their interaction together provoked a host of different topics. 

But while Abbey was blinded by the love she saw between them, Jed was engrossed in the relative distance he noticed, especially when it came to certain issues. Apart from a few random expressions of affection for her husband, Lila rarely talked about Tom when they were in school. Jed sensed her feelings of privacy and always dismissed her lack of openness, but now that they were sitting together in front of him, he observed the coolness that, at times, engulfed them.

He saw Lila's hand jerk towards the top of Tom's glass when Abbey offered him more wine. He saw the look on his face when he reacted to her impulsive actions, silently offering her a reprimand without uttering a single word. Lila glanced away, but Jed found it hard to ignore her discomfort until Tom changed the subject.

"So, Jed," Tom started. "Lila says you've got a pretty good shot at this research position."

Abbey downed her drink without hesitation then jumped in before Jed could answer. "Tom, I'm just curious. What would your reaction have been if Lila had applied for the position?"

"I would have been furious. Lila and I had a deal. LSE is a top-rate institution, but to be perfectly, I was never wild about moving to London, so she promised that after she's finished, we're going back to New York."

Abbey recognized the love in Lila's eyes as she took Tom's hand and squeezed it tightly. "But what if she had done it anyway, in spite of your deal?" 

A wave of insecurity caused Jed to shift in his chair. "Abbey."

"I'm just curious," she replied to him before turning back to Tom.

"Well, if she ended up getting the job and she wasn’t willing to turn it down, then she'd probably come home to an empty house one day." He turned his body to look at his wife. "But I trust her. I know she wouldn't have done such a thing without talking to me."

Jed exchanged a bitter glance with Abbey, then turned to his side to feed Elizabeth. She knew he was angry and deep down, she didn’t blame him. She had betrayed their truce, all because she was caught up in the moment, enamored by the lives of a couple she hardly even knew. 

After dinner, Abbey waited for their guests to leave and for Liz to be tightly tucked in to bed before she approached the subject with him. He stood in front of the sink rinsing the dishes and she gingerly snuck up a few feet behind him.

“Why don’t you let me do that?”

“I got it.” His tone was resentful. Angry.

"I was just curious how they would handle the situation." She took a step closer to him when he didn't reply. "Tom and Lila have been married much longer than we have. They've learned how to be married. They've learned things that you and I are just realizing about one another."

Jed kept his back to her. "I didn't say a word."

"You didn't have to. It was obvious from the second I asked Tom the question that you were mad at me."

"I'm not mad." 

Abbey handed him the glasses sitting on the counter and repeated, "I was just curious.”

"Look, Abbey, I’m tired. It’s been a very long day and the last thing I want is to go ten rounds with you in the kitchen, okay?”

“Fine.” He wasn’t the only one angry.

Jed never looked back. He didn't have to to know she was walking away from him. Before she made her exit, he called out, "Is that what you're planning to do - pack your bags and leave with Lizzie, like Tom said he would?"

Abbey stopped dead in her tracks. "I would never take Elizabeth away from you. It wouldn't be fair to either one of you. And I certainly don’t plan to abandon her. So, no, Jed, I'm not going to pack my bags and leave."

He finally turned then, his back leaning against the counter. “So she’s the only thing keeping you here?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.”

"I don’t know what else to do, Abbey. I don’t know what you’re thinking. Or what you’re feeling. You’ve completely shut me out.”

“Has it occurred to you that it could be because I don’t even know what I’m thinking? Has that crossed your mind at all? I’m not trying to hurt you, Jed. I just feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me and I need time to figure out what happens next.”

Calmer now, he approached her. “I've been a real jerk about this whole thing." Abbey's lips curved into the start of a smile, but she looked down in an unresponsive gesture before he could get a good look. "You don't have to say it. It was rhetorical." 

“Are you sure I can’t help with the dishes?”

“I’ll take care of it.” He took a deep breath, knowing he wasn't about to refuse the temptation to explain himself. "About the job…"

"Do we have to talk about this again?" She raised her head to look him in the eye. "We agreed to a truce for today. I broke that truce and I apologize, but can we not go back over a subject that's sure to lead to another fight? At least not tonight?"

Jed waited a beat before he nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"Thank you.” She pulled back and headed towards the bedroom, leaving him to watch her disappear. “Good night.”

TBC


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: A Christmas truce helped Jed and Abbey enjoy the holiday

Summary: A few fun family minutes are interrupted by Lila's news

\- - -

Present day - July 1970

Abbey stood in front of the window, gazing outside as the sunrise cast a beautiful red hue over the neighborhood. Lila's approach and comforting hand frightened her momentarily, causing her to snap back towards the older the woman.

“I’m sorry,” she offered.

“It’s okay,” Abbey replied. “I’m just jumpy.”

"I'm sure they're fine." Seemingly optimistic, Lila smiled.

"I love Jed so much,” Abbey said as she twirled her wedding ring around her finger with her other hand. “I don't tell him that enough."

"He knows." 

"No, I don't think he does." She retreated back to the sofa with Lila's eyes following her. "I spent most of the last few months wishing we were both people we're not, wishing we were you and Tom."

"Me and Tom? Why?"

"Because you’re the fairy tale. You’re what I wish we were, what I thought we were when we got married. You don’t have secrets, you don’t snipe at each other, you and Tom don't fight at all and that seems like all Jed and I do anymore."

"Abbey, Tom and I do fight. We fight a lot. If you only knew..."

"It doesn't matter anymore. It took me such a long time to realize that even when we fight, I love Jed like I never thought I could love anyone. My heart aches when I’m not with him. I just want him to come home so I can tell him that."

\- - -

March 1970

Elizabeth examined the plastic fork her mother had placed in front of her. She turned the utensil around in a futile attempt to get a good handle on it and stick the prongs into the chocolate cake on her tray. She scooped it back up with just a smudge of frosting and nothing else. With furrowed brows that formed in frustration, she threw the fork down and delved into the cake with her hands.

"Look at you!" Abbey teasingly scolded her daughter the second she returned from the kitchen. "I would have helped you if you had just waited, you know." 

Liz looked up at her mother and extended her messy hands. "Cake?"

Abbey laughed at the toddler’s generosity. "No, Sweetie, I don't want any cake. I do think we need clean you up before Daddy gets home though."

Answering on cue, Jed barreled in through the front door. "I'm sorry. I know I'm late. I'm sorry." 

Elizabeth twisted her body at the sound of his voice. "Daddy!"

"You're two hours late,” Abbey reminded him.

“I know.”

“It's your daughter's birthday.”

Liz reached out her hands and whimpered to get her father's attention, but his eyes never left Abbey.

"I called. I told you I would be late." He paused before delivering the rest of the news. "And, unfortunately I'm only here for a while. I have to go back."

"What?"

"It's unavoidable."

"I'm sure it is," Abbey replied somewhat sincerely. She had resigned herself to the fact that Jed was doing the best he could juggling all his commitments, but it didn’t stop her frustration from mounting every single day.

“It is, Abbey.”

“It’s her second birthday, Jed. The least you could do is show up.”

“Don’t. I feel guilty enough as it is.”

“Maybe your guilt should tell you something.”

"Do we have to do this tonight?"

Lizzie squirmed in her seat, hoping Jed would turn his attention towards her.

"No.” She considered ending the conversation there, but quickly changed her mind. "How come Lila was home hours ago?"

"Lila has a different schedule today." 

Abbey nodded and stacked two plates on her way to the kitchen. "I'm not trying to nag, I'm just wondering. She's in the same program you are. She does her research at certain times to make sure she has time to spend with Tom. Can't you coordinate your schedule like hers so you can spend some evenings at home?"

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because my work is different than Lila’s and I just can’t do it.”

“I just think that if you figured out a way, it would really help us.”

“Help us what?”

“Help us sort through everything. It’ll give us time to talk, to figure out what’s going on and where we’re headed. It’ll help us get along the way Tom and Lila do.” There it was again. No matter what the situation, she had the uncanny ability to compare their marriage to Tom and Lila's. 

Meanwhile, as her parents argued, Liz whined softly and held out her hands for her father.

"You can't model our marriage after theirs," he replied, evading Liz's arms once again.

Abbey spun around. "That isn't what I'm doing."

"That's EXACTLY what you're doing." His voice was steely enough to match her incredulous tone.

"And even if I was, what's the problem with that?"

"Everything."

"Why? Because their marriage is more successful than ours?" She walked around the table and approached her husband. "Because Tom and Lila actually come home at the end of the day and talk to one another?"

“I’m SO SICK of hearing about Tom and Lila!” he exploded, his hands slamming down on the table so hard that it silenced Abbey and caused Lizzie to back herself up against the back of her high chair. Jed turned away from his wife to catch his breath, then turned to face her again. “What do you want from me, Abbey? No matter how badly you want me to be Tom, I’m not.”

“I never said I wanted you to be Tom.”

“Not in so many words, but the way you look at me, the way you talk to me…you don’t think I know that every single day, you’re regretting this marriage? You don’t think I know that you sit there and recount all the ways I’ve failed you?”

“That isn’t true, Jed. None of it is true.”

“It is true! It’s ALL true!”

He trailed off as a plastic sippy cup hit him on the side of the head.

"Elizabeth Ann!" Abbey yelled. "You don't EVER throw things, especially at your father! You know better than that!" Feeling properly chastised, Liz lowered her head as Abbey cupped Jed’s chin to lift his head. "Are you okay?" 

He nodded. "She's mad at me because I screamed at you. And I'm sure the fact that I didn't pick her up when I walked in didn't help." He held out his hands to her, but Liz pushed them aside. “See?”

"She still knows better," Abbey replied.

"It's okay, Abbey. Really. I can't be mad at her for defending her mother." He unhooked Liz's tray and lifted her out of the chair. Liz resisted at first, but surrendered when he kissed her cheek and pressed his fingers into her back to hug her. "You're right, Lizzie. I shouldn't have yelled." 

Abbey watched Liz grab at his face and gently rub her head against his, letting her lips make contact with his skin. "And now she wants to make up with you."

Liz let out a faint squeak when Jed held her up in his arms. "Is that what that is? Is that you saying you're sorry?"

"Sowwy," the toddler replied.

"I'm sorry too, Sweetheart," he said while pulling her back towards himself with hesitation. He was certain every second he was holding her, she was leaving handprints on the back of his jacket. 

Liz pulled her hands in front of her and inspected the chocolatey mess. Jed pulled out the one finger she inserted in her mouth, but she fought him off and smeared the remainder of the chocolate on his cheeks.

"Lizzie," Jed whined, his head snapping around when he saw Abbey standing in the corner and softly laughing at the sight. "You think this is funny?"

"I do," she said with a full-fledged laugh. "It's all over your face."

He put Elizabeth on the ground and turned his back to Abbey. "You have a hell of a lot of nerve, Abigail."

His voice was so icy, so serious, that she had no idea he was tweaking her. She didn't even notice him grab a fist full of cake in his hand. "Jed, I was kidding. I didn't mean anything."

A trusting Abbey placed a hand on his shoulder and, in one quick motion, Jed whirled back around on her, splattering the cake over her lips and plastering the remnants on her nose. "Now THAT'S funny!"

He got a laugh out of Liz, but Abbey's eyes widened to twice their normal size. "You tricked me!"

"You got it, Babe!" He reached out his arms to her. "Get over here."

He tried to hug her, but as soon as his arm touched her, she swung her hand behind him to grab the cake, then separated their bodies, hitting him in the face with it and immediately backing away.

"Oh now you're going to get what's coming to you," he warned.

"Who's going to give it to me?" She darted back and forth behind the couch, daring him.

He scooped his hand into what was left of the dessert and took a few menacing steps towards her. "That would be me."

"Bring it on," she challenged.

Elizabeth stood in the middle of the room, her eyes followed her mother, then turned to her father, then back to her mother in confusion. 

Jed and Abbey swayed calmly back and forth, the couch shielding them from one another. With a sudden jerk from Abbey, Jed stepped on the cushions and jumped over the side to grab her at the waist. With her back to him, he held her tight against her frame, smothering her with the chocolatey goo until he pushed her onto the sofa. 

"You're going to pay for that, Josiah Bartlet!" She struggled as he held her down, his legs on top of hers, and her wrists pinned at her hips.

For the first time in months, she let her guard down. Her face lit up and that invigorating spark of fire was back. It made him smile, her sweet girlish laugh. She snickered for seconds and as she did, all Jed could think about was that it felt like old times between them. No anger. No bitterness. No resentment. Just Abbey. His heart swelled at the sight of the woman he loved with all his heart and soul. 

"Even with your hair messed up and your face covered in chocolate, you are absolutely beautiful," he remarked.

Abbey reached behind his neck and pulled him down towards her lips. Jed relaxed his body and barely pressed his mouth into hers when he felt the unmistakable touch of a handful of cake being smeared into the back of his head by two-year-old hands.

He twisted his head around to confirm his suspicion. Liz clapped her messy hands together and chuckled at his reaction. 

"You're awfully proud of yourself," he mocked.

Then, he unexpectedly rammed his hands under her arms and picked her up into the air settling her down on the sofa between himself and Abbey. Liz erupted in laughter as her parents tickled her mercilessly, only letting go when her voice caught in her throat and she began to cough. 

"Are you okay, Sweetie?" Abbey asked while gently patting the toddler's back.

Liz nodded enthusiastically, eking out a few more coughs in the process. Jed slid himself off the cushion and sat Liz upright. 

"More!" she exclaimed when she regained control.

"More?" Jed echoed.

"You just had a little fit, Baby Doll," Abbey added.

"Tickle Daddy!" she insisted instead.

"Okay, I’ll tickle Daddy. You want help me tickle Daddy?" Abbey pulled on Jed's hand until he fell back onto the sofa where she and Lizzie could simultaneously attack him.

Seeing his little girl so gleeful, Jed played along with the ambush, pretending to fight back against his daughter’s strength. Abbey held him down so Liz could climb on top of him, her tiny hands curled into fists as she tried to mimic what the way he had been tickling Abbey.

Liz stopped abruptly when the doorbell rang. 

"Who’s that?” Abbey asked her husband.

“I don't know, but none of us are in any shape to answer it." Jed reached for a wash cloth in the kitchen and headed towards the door as Abbey picked Liz up in her arms and ran a wet paper towel over both of their faces.

"Lila, hi," he greeted their neighbor as he opened the door.

"Have you heard?" 

Not recognizing the reason for her zealous response, he answered, "Heard what?"

Lila took a few steps inside before noticing Abbey and Elizabeth covered in cake. 

"Sorry. We were just celebrating Elizabeth's birthday," Abbey told her. "You're still coming to the party tomorrow?"

"Of course." Lila ran her hands over Lizzie’s head.

“Lila, heard what?” Jed repeated.

"You're a finalist! I really think you're going to get this position!"

Jed's facial expression was all Abbey needed to see how he was affected by the news. An exorbitant smile overwhelmed his features. When he exchanged a glance with his wife, his lips lost their curve and his grin immediately vanished.

Abbey tipped her head and took Liz’s hand. "Come on, Lizzie, let's go get you cleaned up."

Jed watched quietly as mother and daughter left the room. 

"Jed?" Lila called out, trying to get his attention. "Jed? Did you hear what I said?"

"Huh?" He turned a confused look to his guest. "Yeah, I did. How did you hear?"

"A friend of mine is Harden's TA. Come on! Get excited! It's what you've been working for and dreaming about. It just might happen and you hardly care.”

“I care. I do.” 

“What's wrong?"

"Nothing.” 

"Is it Abbey? Did I interrupt..."

"No. No, everything's fine."

In the bedroom, Abbey leaned her head against the door and strained to hear the conversation.

"Are you sure?" Lila asked him.

"I'm sure."

"Okay," she reluctantly accepted his answer. "I'm so happy for you! This is your launchpad!" She put her arms around him to pull him into a friendly hug. "So, this weekend, we'll celebrate - the four of us."

"Sounds great," he replied.

His indifference was obvious to Lila, but he was reluctant to tell her why. She excused herself without another word. Jed just stared at the door until Abbey carried Liz out of the bedroom.

“So, a finalist, huh?”

"Yeah."

"What happens now?"

"One-on-one interviews."

Abbey set Liz on her feet. "That won't be a problem for you." She avoided Jed's gaze. "So at some point, I guess we're going to have to talk about the future."

"I don't have it yet, Abbey."

"The rest seems to be a formality." 

"Yeah."

Silence filled the room as the tension rose once again.

"What do you want to eat before you go back out there?" Abbey finally asked. 

"It doesn't matter. Whatever you feel like eating," he answered.

The strain the situation had forced onto their marriage was more prevalent than ever. There was no fighting or screaming, but the voiceless avoidance of the subject seemed to be even worse. 

Jed took a seat at the table and watched Abbey pace through the kitchen, randomly mumbling to Elizabeth. With his eyes glued to her, his mind wandered to the stinging sensation he felt upon the realization that she never congratulated him for his successful placement among the final candidates. He knew he had no right to expect her to, but her unimpressed response tarnished the accomplishment nonetheless.

TBC


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 16

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Jed learned he was a finalist for the research position 

Summary: Jed gets an offer; the past meets the present

\- - -

Present day - July 22, 1970

"I'm sure they'll both walk through that door soon, Abbey."

Lila's encouraging words didn't ease Abbey's mind as it got harder to control her emotions. "And what if Jed doesn't?"

"Why wouldn't he?"

Because he threatened not to, she thought to herself, not allowing her voice to betray her with the spoken words in a misguided attempt to fight fate.

\- - -

July 20, 1970

Abbey flipped the pages of her book, skimming the passages randomly. Her reading glasses sat at the tip of her nose so her eyes could peer out over the top of the frames. She smiled with an audible breath as Jed rubbed his hands together furiously. 

"What's wrong?"

He kept his fingers flexed back as he scrutinized the skin. "My hands are dry."

Abbey threw her glasses onto the nightstand, pushed back the comforter, and slid out of bed. "Here." 

She held a bottle of lotion upside down and offered to squeeze.

"No way." His rejection was firm, followed by a quick sway of his body to keep his hands out of her reach. 

"Why not?"

"Because as lovely as it is on you, I don't want to smell like lavender rose petals all night."

Abbey walked around him and grabbed his arms, urging him to reluctantly hold his hands out and present her with his palms. The ice cold cream jarred him as it hydrated his prickly skin. The next touch was hers. She placed her own warm hands over his and tenderly massaged the cream into his palms and through his fingers. 

His gaze followed her arms up toward her face. She raised her head to see the deep stare that sent a tingle through her body and in an instant, husband and wife locked eyes.

"Is that better?" she asked softly and slowly, as if afraid to ruin the moment.

He nodded silently. 

"Can I ask you something?" she continued.

Another nod.

"Why didn't you tell me you were being recognized at the student-faculty party tomorrow night?"

Jed closed his eyes and turned slightly away before speaking. "It's nothing major."

"That's not what Lila says. The journal articles you wrote are brilliant, Jed. It's about time you were rewarded for them." She saw the look of confusion on his face when he turned back around. "You sometimes leave them out. I read them."

"It's not an important award, Abbey."

She cupped his cheeks in her hand. "Don't say that. Any award that acknowledges the creativity and intellect of the man standing in front of me is incredibly significant." 

He was touched that she had read his articles, touched that she believed they were brilliant. For the first time in a long time, Jed could actually feel Abbey’s support. Her love for him seemed just as strong as it always had been and he fought to maintain his composure. 

"Great, now I have cream on my face." He chuckled in an attempt to bring the conversation back to his comfort zone before she noticed how deeply her words affected him.

"I want to go to the party."

"I didn't think you'd be interested. I figured I could just pick up the plaque on Monday."

"No. I want to be there to see you presented with it. I want a picture so that we can show Lizzie when she’s a little older. Besides, I need an excuse to buy the blue cocktail dress I saw the other day." She tried to interject her own humor into the conversation.

Jed returned her smile. "I'm sure you're going to look perfect in it."

"So then we'll go?"

"We'll go."

"Good."

She turned and walked back towards the bed. He joined her on his own side and propped himself up on his elbow. His fingertips felt like a lightweight feather running up and down her arms. "Thank you."

She shifted her body so her head was facing him. "For what?"

"For encouraging me."

He leaned towards her to press his lips into her neck. She kissed him back as she wrapped her fingers through his silky hair. 

"Jed?" she whispered when he ducked his head to her ear.

"Yeah?" he replied

Abbey debated asking her question. She wanted so badly to just enjoy this night with her husband, but her curiosity got the better of her and she finally bit the bullet. "Is this award going to help you get the job?"

Jed immediately stilled. He lifted himself up and stared at her for a moment before answering truthfully, "I really don't know."

The hesitation in her face was obvious. It carried with it a reminder that despite the loving moments between them, things weren't back to normal. He couldn't remember the last time they made love without a cloud of tension looming over them. As Jed rolled to her side, Abbey slipped her hand into his, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry," she said. "For bringing it up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He kissed her forehead, then turned to his back, securing the blanket around his body and pulling it tight over his chest.

Abbey watched him squirm to get comfortable before he reached up to turn off the light.

"Good night," she said softly.

"Good night," he replied.

The next evening, Abbey rummaged through her collection of earrings, trying them on one by one while facing her dresser mirror. She held the phone up by her shoulder while she untangled the pair of silver chandeliers Jed had bought her for their second anniversary. Jed entered the bedroom and offered her a choice between two ties. Abbey pulled one out of his hands and returned it to him.

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

She nodded as she continued her conversation. "Of course it's fine, Mill."

Jed paused on his way out of the room, catching the end of her phone call. 

"I will," she continued. "I'm looking forward to it too. And tell Ron that the end of the week works better for me...Okay. I'll call you next week. Bye." 

She returned the phone to its cradle and smoothed her hands over her upswept hair in the mirror, shaping a few dangling strands down over the earrings she had just clipped on. Jed's reflection was caught in the glass. She turned around to face him.

"Ron?" he asked.

"Yeah. He asked Millie if he could join us for lunch when I go home for Kate's graduation next month."

"And you said it was fine?"

"Yeah," she answered as she tightened the belt on her flower-print floor-length robe.

"It's not fine, Abbey. Not with me."

"Jed," she sighed while she laid out her dress.

"I was more than understanding when you saw him just before we got married..."

"That was you being understanding?"

He wasn't deterred by her interruption. "...but I'm putting my foot down this time."

Abbey laughed at the mere notion of him forbidding her. He knew her better than that, she thought. "You sound ridiculous."

"Thanks."

"Look..."

"I don't want you seeing him." It wasn't a suggestion. 

"And I don't want you talking to me this way. Its lunch and it isn't like we're going to be alone. Millie and Steve will be there."

"Like a double date?"

"No! You're blowing it out of proportion."

"It's inappropriate, Abbey."

Under other circumstances, Abbey may have respected his wishes without further conversation. Seeing Ron again wasn't worth the hurt and anger it would bring Jed. But there was something about his accusatory tone that immediately offended her.

"There is nothing inappropriate about meeting an old friend for lunch at a public restaurant. It isn't like I'm going back to his apartment. He and I used to be good friends, so why are you so threatened by this?"

"I'm not threatened by it. It just doesn't look right."

"You're jealous, Jed. Why? Don’t you trust me?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but changed direction at the last possible second. "Call Millie and cancel before she has a chance to call Ron."

"I asked you a question."

Jed evaded her again. "Call Millie."

His irrational attitude and heavy-handed order wasn't going to go over well. She thought about her response during the long pause that followed, then simply said, "No."

Abbey was challenging him and he knew it. "Abbey, don't do this. Don't meet him...not if you still want me here when you get back."

"You're not serious."

He took a few steps towards her. "Look at my face. Do I look serious?"

Abbey stood in front of him and folded her arms, indicating her unwillingness to change her plans. Jed shook his head and stormed out of the room, slamming his fist into the wall as he headed out the front door with Abbey not far behind. 

“How dare you?” she shouted when they reached the front stoop.

“Can you blame me?”

“YES!”

“I’m not comfortable with you seeing him. I can’t help how I feel.”

"So is this how it's going to work now? I do something you don't like and you threaten to leave me?" 

He lit his cigarette and took a puff before replying. "I take that part back."

"I didn't deserve that." 

"I said I take it back." 

"You're not this upset about just Ron, are you?" He didn't have to answer for her to know that she was right. "You know, if you had just come to me instead of pulling all this 'I'm putting my foot down' nonsense, I would have called Millie."

"I shouldn't have to come to you. You should know."

"A failure on my part," she replied quietly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "And just so we're clear Jed, the next time you give me an ultimatum, I just may take you up on it."

She began to walk inside, but he stopped her. "It isn't you I don't trust. It's him. What if the situation was reversed? What if I was having dinner with a former girlfriend or any other girl, for that matter? How would you feel?"

Abbey threw her hands up in frustration and spun back around. "I imagine I'd feel the exact same way I did when I found out you were confiding in Lila about the research position instead of me!"

Her words surprised them both. Up until that very moment, the only anger she ever expressed was about his deception in applying for a position that would prolong their stay in London. Never had she communicated her feelings of betrayal that, for a short time, another woman had become her husband's confidante.

Jed didn't respond verbally. He threw his cigarette onto the concrete and smashed it with his shoe. The combination of shock, confusion, and exasperation that were visible in his actions made Abbey wish she could take back the past five minutes. 

He finally broke the awkward pause that lingered between them. "We're going to be late."

"I just have to slip on my dress." He nodded as she turned away. "Jed, what I said just slipped out. It's not like I think you were conspiring with her against me or something." Her statement echoed in the air as her back was still facing him. 

"Go get dressed," he simply said with his eyes glued to her as she vanished into the apartment.

Abbey reemerged moments later wearing the blue dress she had described to him earlier. The way it accentuated every curve of her body validated his opinion. She did look perfect, he thought to himself.

"Can you help me?" She presented her back to him so he could zip her up. 

His hand looped around the crook of her arm to turn her back around when he finished. "You look amazing."

"So do you."

She took the tie that was loosely draped around his neck and secured it for him, patting his shirt when she was done to brush away any stray lint. Then, she slid her palm into his as they made their way to the party.

Though Abbey enjoyed the opportunity to socialize with his friends, the party was as boring as Jed had warned. The only highlight was proudly watching her husband honored by his professors. 

Ever since he was a little boy, Jed was an overachiever. He consistently strived to be the best in every facet of his life, especially academics. He soon learned that no matter what he accomplished, it wouldn't earn him his father's love. But the trauma as a result of that realization didn’t stop him. In fact, it was a motivating factor in the majority of his adult decisions. 

It's why he married a smart, loving woman like Abbey, why he chose to become an academic scholar, why he aspired to become a research assistant. Abbey knew the immeasurable impact the position would have to his future success, but more importantly, she understood the real reason behind Jed's decision to cast away the promise he made her - he was desperate for the validation that came with the job.

Jed was unaware of the fact that Abbey had started looking into medical schools in London. She kept that from him out of fear of changing her mind and longing for a Harvard education. She still resented the fact that he purposely misled her, but she was seriously considering making another sacrifice if it meant Jed would realize his dreams.

"Abbey? Abbey?" Tom called, trying to get her attention.

"I'm sorry," she responded, barely pulling her eyes away from the scene across the room where Jed was talking with Professor Lynn.

"I'm just wondering if you'd like another drink."

"No, I'm fine."

"And so are you, Tom," Lila scolded. "You've had enough."

"I'll decide when I've had enough."

Oblivious to the bickering between the couple, Abbey interrupted. "Lila, is that Professor Lynn? The one who's hiring the research assistant?"

"Yeah, it is. I wonder what he's talking to Jed about."

Jed exchanged a quick glance with Abbey, then returned his attention to his own conversation.

"Are you sure?" Lynn asked. 

He didn't miss a beat in his response. "Yes, I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly flattered...but as tempting an offer as it is, my wife will be starting medical school next Fall back in States."

"You do realize this job could lead to a faculty position in three years?"

"I do, but Abbey and I have already made our decision to move back to New England after I graduate."

From across the room, Abbey curiously stared at Jed, desperately trying to tune out Tom and Lila's argument. When Jed joined the threesome, he had an unmistakable look of pride on his face.

"What did the Professor want?" Abbey asked.

"He and Professor Harden made a decision. He offered me the job."

"Really?" It didn't go unnoticed that Tom showed more excitement than Abbey did.

"Yeah."

"Did you accept?" Abbey asked.

"We can discuss that after we settle your lunch date with Ron," he shot back smugly.

Jed didn't recognize the look on Abbey's face. It was a look of contempt and he wasn't sure he had ever seen it in the three years they had been married. Then again, she had never been as furious as she was that minute. 

It was obvious he was harboring residual anger from their earlier disagreement, but a public party, right in front of their friends, wasn't the place to humiliate her. She set her glass down on a nearby table and headed for the door. 

"Where are you going?" Jed called out to her as he followed her out the building.

"Home!" she shouted back.

He took longer strides to catch up to her. "I'm not going to let you walk home alone, Abbey."

"Get away from me!" she snapped.

Jed grabbed her arm and turned her around. "Look..."

Abbey yanked her arm from his hold so hard that he instinctively took a step back. Her eyes pierced into his, smoldering with an anger he didn't recognize. "I really think you need to stay away from me right now."

He watched as she picked up her pace and waved down a cab. She slid into the back seat, refusing to meet the stare he threw at her from the sidewalk. She lowered her head in what he was sure was an attempt to fight back the tears until they had driven past him.

\- - -

Present day - July 22, 1970

Abbey wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and turned to face Lila. "So now that you know the whole sordid story about me and Jed, how about you tell me why you left the party? And why were you and Tom arguing in the first place?"

Lila pulled away with the style of aversion that Abbey had perfected over the years. "Our marriage isn't as perfect as you think. Our fight began earlier in the evening as well. He was angry that an ex-boyfriend had called."

"Just like what happened between me and Jed."

"Not exactly."

Her cryptic final words were interrupted by the sound of jiggling keys outside the door. Suddenly, both women snapped their heads back towards the door. Abbey's arm stretched out as far as it could as she reached for the knob, but it eluded her just as the door swung open.

"Jed."

TBC


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 17

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey remembered what happened just before she left Jed at the party and returned home. Jed finally came home.

Summary: Jed and Tom have some explaining to do!

Author's Note: The rest of the story will take place in the present

\- - -

Present day - July 22, 1970

Abbey's arm stretched out as far as it could as she reached for the knob, but it eluded her as the door swung open. He lifted his head, turning his focus from his keys to her face.

"Jed."

With relief flooding through her, Abbey catapulted herself into his arms, her force so strong it almost knocked him over. She smothered him with kisses, her lips caressing the skin of his face and neck. Without a second thought, Jed wrapped himself tightly around her and returned each and every one of her kisses. 

"Hi," he muttered softly.

Tom made his way inside the apartment behind Jed, but wasn't greeted with the same reception from his wife. Lila stood at the opposite end of the room and stared at him as if silently condemning him for the misdeeds she could only suspect.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Abbey whispered with her cheek against Jed's chest, her head tucked under his chin, and a few tears of relief escaping her lashes. Jed opened his mouth to respond when Abbey, suddenly overcome with the reality of the situation, placed both hands on his chest and shoved his body away from her own. "You Jackass! Where the hell have you been? It's 7:30 in the morning!"

Jolted by her unexpected outburst, Jed quickly spoke up. "I can explain what happened."

Abbey raised one brow in anticipation while Jed looked to Tom. 

"Well?" Abbey pressured him. 

Jed’s gaze now turned into a glare, waiting for Tom to say something or at least give him permission to come clean. “Are you just going to stand there?”

"Jed, you were gone all night,” Abbey continued. “You didn't even call. I have been worried sick, going through all the nightmare scenarios in my mind, thinking you were stabbed or shot or God knows what else! How can you explain that? How can you give me a good enough explanation that won't make me walk out that door right now?"

"I'm not sure there is an explanation that's good enough," he replied honestly. "I should have called."

At least he acknowledged that. 

"Why didn't you?"

Jed's hands slipped into his pocket, his eyes glued to his fidgeting feet. "I couldn't get to a phone.”

Abbey tilted her head to lock eyes with him. "You were out all night and you couldn't find your way to the nearest pay phone to call me and let me know you were still alive?”

“That’s right.”

“I don't buy it. There are phones all over this damn city!"

“Abbey…”

“You know what, Jed, you’re mad at me, fine. You want to get back at me for our fight about Ron, fine. You want to make me worry about you, you want to put me through hell as payback, fine, but don’t you DARE lie about it! You stayed out all night and you didn’t even have the decency to call and check on your baby girl!”

"Abbey, I swear, I didn’t do this on purpose. I wanted to call. I swear to you I did. But I couldn’t."

“Why not?”

“I just couldn’t.”

"That's it? You're not going to tell me where you were and what stopped you from calling?"

He turned his back to her and rubbed his forehead, praying for the words to calm the imminent storm that was brewing between the foursome. He took off his jacket and the napkin that slipped out of his pocket and tumbled to the floor brought Tom out of his daze. Both men made an attempt for it, but Abbey was the one who snatched it off the floor and held it out of their grasp.

"What is it?" Lila asked.

"Abbey, it's not what you think," Jed warned.

Abbey faced Jed as she answered the rave-haired woman. "It's a napkin with a phone number on it. Apparently, our husbands met a woman named Jennifer last night."

"Are you going to say anything?" Jed snapped at Tom. 

"I don't give a damn what he has to say!" Abbey exclaimed. "You're the one who was carrying the number." 

"It isn't mine."

“Give me one damn good reason I should believe you.”

“Because I’m telling you!”

She waved her hand at him, allowing the napkin to fall to the floor. "Oh well, that makes all the difference in the world. We all know honesty is your strongest virtue."

“I know you’re angry, but don’t do this, Abbey.” Jed cut off her effort to skirt around him by blocking her path. “Look at me, damn it!” He breathed a momentary sigh when she did as he asked. “Tell me you believe me. Tell me you know I would never do that to you.”

The truth was that deep down, Abbey could never deny Jed’s integrity. No matter what happened between them earlier that night, he would have never betrayed their wedding vows. But the nagging part of her that still wanted a reasonable explanation prevented her from giving him the reassurance he needed. “Why was it in your pocket?”

"Because he was holding onto it for Tom," Lila said softly, staring at her own husband with steely eyes. "Right?" He didn't respond and she repeated her question, her voice a direct reflection of her temper. "You're going to stand there and let Jed take the blame?" 

Tom reluctantly shook his head. "Abbey, Jennifer is a woman we met at a bar. Jed spent the entire night with me to keep me from going home with her. It was me, not him."

"You spent the evening trying to prevent Tom from having an affair?" Abbey asked Jed.

"No," Tom answered. "It wasn't an affair he was trying to prevent. I was drunk and I was being stupid and he refused to leave me alone - not even to call you, even though he said over and over that he wanted to. When he eventually did find a pay phone, I ducked out. He ran after me and we fought over the keys until the bar closed. And then, we just sat there for a while, on the curb in the middle of a some neighborhood. He wanted me to sober up a little before we started walking home.”

Abbey kept her eyes on Jed, her expression clearly expressing remorse. But before she could open her mouth to apologize to him, Lila grabbed Tom’s arm and turned him around, forcing her to face him.

“You BASTARD!” she shouted just before she slapped him across the face.

Her violent outburst stunned Jed and Abbey, but what shocked them even more was when Tom slapped her back. Jed jumped between husband and wife and extended his hand to restrain Tom while Abbey wrapped her arm around Lila to walk her in the opposite direction. 

“I’m not going to touch her!” Tom insisted as he struggled against Jed’s hold.

“Fine. Then let’s go get some air.”

As the two men turned to walk out, Abbey called out to her husband. “Jed?” 

“What?”

He's very angry. Please be careful."

Jed nodded, threw his jacket over his arm, and followed Tom outside. 

Lila ran tips of her fingers over her bruised cheek as Abbey took a seat next to her on the sofa and held the trembling woman in her arms. She couldn’t imagine what Lila must be thinking, what she must be going through after such a nasty fight. In that moment, she thanked her lucky stars for her own husband. Jed may have some faults, but she knew without a doubt he was a good man.

"So now you’ve seen it for yourself. That's the big secret Tom doesn’t want anyone to know. He drinks…a lot. He's a recovering alcoholic who's fallen off the wagon more times than I can count."

“Has he always been abusive?”

Lila pulled back and sat upright, sweeping her hair back out of the way. "That's not abuse. I mean, that was the first time he's ever hit me in the face. It's the first time he's ever hit me in front of others. He usually just grabs me or pushes me, smacks me on the arm now and then. I do the same to him. It's how we communicate."

"How you communicate?" It was a foreign concept to Abbey. “Lila, he slapped you.”

“I slapped him first.”

“I know, but....”

“It’s just how we are, Abbey. It’s how we live.”

“How can anyone live like that?”

Abbey had known a few abuse victims, including her own husband, but never had she heard a person as resigned to a lifestyle filled with physical explosions of anger as Lila seemed to be. All her perceptions about the wonderful marriage Tom and Lila shared were shattered by the lipstick-covered napkin and the mutual violence between the couple. 

"You pushed Jed when he was holding you. It's the same kind of thing."

Abbey understood the words, but she couldn't reconcile the two situations. "I shoved him to get him away from me, and maybe I shouldn't have. But I would never hurt Jed. I could never hurt him. And I know he would never raise his hand to me."

"Tom and I are both hot-tempered."

She took a beat and focused on being a friend instead of handing out the unsolicited advice she really wanted to give. "So who's Jennifer?" 

"How would I know? Before the party, my ex called. That's why he was out trolling for a girl."

"Your ex," Abbey repeated, nodding as she remembered the conversation they had just before their husbands came home. 

"His name is Richard. He was my lover when Tom and I were married the first time." She chuckled at Abbey's confused expression. "You didn't know that either - that Tom and I were already married and divorced once, that I cheated on him for two years. That's why he left me. Some might say that’s why he turned to the bottle again. He ended up going into an alcohol treatment program and a year later, we got back together. Marriage counseling helped for a while…until recently." 

"What happened recently?"

"Richard began calling. I met him for dinner one night. It was completely platonic, but Tom had a fit. Things haven't been back to normal since." She wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I guess I can’t really blame him. Richard was the guy who took his place for a short time, at least in my bed…in our bed.”

“Oh, Lila.”

“I told you it wasn't exactly like you and Jed fighting over Ron."

"I don’t know what to say." 

Both women stared straight ahead, lost in their own thoughts about what had happened just moments before. Lila’s temper eventually simmered and her expression held a hint of confusion mixed with an undefined hurt Abbey hadn’t seen before.

"I do love him, you know," she said softly. 

Neither one of them knew how to circle around the awkward pause that followed. Abbey reached out to touch the quivering hand sitting in Lila’s lap. With a tight squeeze and unspoken words, she gave the older woman her support and, once again, found herself counting down the seconds until Jed returned home. 

TBC


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Abbey learned the truth about Tom and Lila's marriage

Summary: Jed and Abbey finally talk

\- - -

Abbey's hand moved frantically back and forth, rotating between straight and circular strokes across the countertop. She used all her strength to bear down, scrubbing it repeatedly with a wet cloth. Anything to keep her mind off the events of that morning. 

Her pulse started racing when she heard the front door. It creaked as it opened and within seconds, Jed emerged, a stack of letters in his hand. His eyes connected with hers and he set the mail on small table in the foyer before he took a few steps in her direction.

"Hi," Abbey greeted him.

"Where's Lizzie?"

"I just put her down for her nap."

He nodded his head and slipped off his jacket, flinging it over the sofa. "How's Lila?"

"She's staying with her friend tonight. How’s Tom?

"I don't really want to talk about Tom."

Her voice caught in her throat as she worried about the subject that was dangling in the air between them. "I made you some lunch. Sit down."

"I don't want lunch either."

She turned from him then. The faucet gave her a reason to avoid his stare, so she fiercly rubbed her hands together and avoided him. "You can be mad at me, Jed, but you still have to eat."

He was no longer listening to her, his mind consumed with his own question. "How could you think that I would go out and pick up another woman?"

"What was I supposed to think?"

"I lost your trust when I applied for the job, but something like this...suspecting that I would ever be unfaithful to you? You don’t know me at all."

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t. I can’t believe that…”

"I'm sorry," she interjected. "I should have believed you the second you told me the napkin wasn't yours. I was wrong and I was stupid and I’ll spend the rest of our lives apologizing to you if you’ll allow me to."

Abbey kept both her hands on the counter in front of her as her eyes fought to remain focused on the sink. Acknowledging her refusal to look at him, he walked around and stood behind her.

"I don't know what else to say," she added when he didn’t respond.

"You could say that you'll talk to me instead of avoiding me like you’re doing now, That you’ll listen to me apologize for my behavior at the party last night. And that you'll forgive me when I say I'm sorry I didn't call." 

She didn't expect the anger in his voice to be replaced by remorse. “I’m listening.”

"There's no excuse for not calling," he continued. "If it had been you out all night without so much as a phone call, I would have been worried sick."

Jed extended his arm to rest it on her shoulder and gently turned her to face him. With a one look in the other's eyes, they each saw the turmoil that had dominated their marriage. He remained silent, not even a breath escaping his lungs until he heard her reply.

"I forgive you," she finally said. "And I’m not avoiding you. I just don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

“We won’t fight, Abbey. I don’t want to fight.”

Uncertain whether or not she would welcome his touch, he cautiously clasped her hand and pulled her closer to him. She didn't resist. He moved his hand up her arm and slowly wrapped himself around her. When they made full contact, Jed tightened his grip, giving Abbey room for the emotional release she had been longing for. 

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too." She breathed out the words. "Don't ever forget that."

It had been months since he had heard her say that. He pulled slightly away to look into her eyes as he ran his hand over her cheek. "I won't."

She covered his hand with her own and brought it to her lips to kiss the back of his fingers. "Sit down. I’ll bring you something to eat.”

"I'm really not hungry."

"Then we'll just do dessert. Sit down."

Jed took a seat at the table and chuckled when Abbey presented him with a slice of chocolate cheesecake. "When did you have time?"

"After Lila left. It's a peace offering," she replied, taking the seat across from his.

"The only peace offering I need is you."

Abbey returned his smile. "I don't think that'll do it this time. We do need to talk, Jed. And we have a lot to talk about. I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten between us until this morning."

"Yeah." He stared down at his plate, then lifted his head to face her. "I really overreacted about the Ron thing. I think you should meet him. You have my blessing."

"I canceled it - the lunch."

"You did?" After his heavy-handedness, he assumed she would go through with it just to spite him. Now that he was willing to take the high road, she had already beaten him to it. 

"It obviously upset you and I wish I had taken your feelings into consideration before I made the plans in the first place. It was just so last-minute that I didn't really think about your reaction."

"Abbey, you didn't think I was going to leave you, did you? I mean, that isn't why..."

"No, that isn't why I canceled. I canceled because I don't want to ever do anything that hurts you the way that did." She took beat to prepare herself for a confession. "But if you really want to know, yes; when you didn't return last night, for a brief moment, I thought that you made good on the threat."

Jed lost his thoughts in the shame he felt by his harsh words. "I'm so sorry. I've been such a jackass to you. I swear I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. You're the most important person in the world to me."

"It wasn't just you," she offered. "I've been pretty awful too. We both made a real mess of things." 

Speechless usually wasn't a word to describe Jed Bartlet, but at that moment, it was the only word that could accurately describe the multitude of emotions that kept him from saying another word. 

After several minutes, Abbey broke the silence between them. "Why is this so difficult? Three years ago tonight was our wedding night. I told you I was pregnant. We were so happy, so in love, so unselfish."

"I'm still in love with you. Nothing's changed."

"And I'm in love with you. But, Jed, everything has changed. Every time we talk, we fight. There's just so much hostility now. Part of that is my fault, I know, but I can’t figure out what went wrong."

Jed pushed his plate aside and took her hand in his. "You're not happy here, in London, away from your family. You're not happy staying home all day with Lizzie, not working, not going to school. I finally get that."

"I adore Lizzie."

"I know you do. I never questioned your love for her. But you need more." 

She searched his eyes hoping to find a clue as to what sparked this sudden realization. "Yeah."

“I’m going to ask you a question now and no matter what your answer is, I want you to be honest with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to be married to me?” He held his breath as he waited for her answer.

“With all my heart, Jed. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. More than anything else in the world, I want to be married to you.”

"Then we'll fix it," he said, his tone overflowing with raw emotion. "We'll fix us. I want us to be the same couple we were on our wedding day."

Abbey stroked his hand and tilted her head to the side. Deep down, she knew the man she married was just as unhappy about their current problems, but hearing him so eager to get their marriage back on course was incredibly reassuring. "I want that too. We have so much to work through."

"And we will, slowly. Neither of us has ever been afraid of hard work." They exchanged a warm smile as Jed prepared to enter the next phase of the conversation. "There's something we need to clear up right now though. About the offer from Professor Lynn..."

Abbey briefly closed her eyes with the memory of the promise she made the night before - that if Jed would walk through the door, she would sacrifice her own aspirations to study at Harvard and instead, stay in London. 

"You don't have to say anything. I know it's what you wanted and something you worked so hard to achieve." She pushed out her chair and walked behind him. He watched as she leaned down over his shoulder to leave a warm kiss on his left cheek. "Congratulations. I mean that." 

“Really?”

“Really.”

"Where are going?" he asked when she turned towards the bedroom. 

"I'll be right back. I just want to grab a sweater. I’m a little chilly.“ She lied, hoping he wouldn't pressure her to tell him that while she was genuinely proud of his accomplishment, she needed a moment to compose herself, for the thought of staying in London an extra two years was still disconcerting.

"We haven't finished talking."

"I know. I’ll be right back."

"Wait." Jed stood to retrieve the pile of mail he had set down when he came home. He sifted through a few envelopes, then sat back down at the table with the form he needed already opened. "I need your help with some of this mail."

With her eyes blocked by the chair next to him, Abbey was unable to see what he was doing. “We were in the middle of a discussion.”

“It’ll be a quick distraction and then we’ll get back to it.”

"Can it possibly wait until later?”

"Okay, as long as I can ask you just one thing."

"Of course. What is it?"

"What was your MCAT score?"

She was surprised by the unexpected question. "What?"

He kept his eyes glued to the form and said, "Your MCAT score. What did you get?"

Abbey approached him, her suspicion rising. "Why do you need to know that?"

His hand intentionally covered the top of the application to pique her curiosity. "Med school admission boards are strict about having that information."

A light brush of his hand forced him to reveal what he was hiding. "Jed?" 

He stood up and placed a finger under her chin to lift her head. "If you want to get into Harvard, we have to get this thing in the mail.”

Her eyes darted back and forth between him and the form he was holding. "Where did you get that?"

"It just came today. I picked it up on my way in. I hope you don't mind I opened it."

"I haven't called them yet," she admitted softly.

"I called them - about three weeks ago."

For a moment, she allowed herself to escape into a fantasy world imagining herself starting school in New England, but she quickly snapped back into reality. "But Jed, Harvard? Now?"

"Why not?"

"Because of your job offer."

"Screw the job. You and I had a deal."

"You worked so hard for this. You were right. I can go to med school anywhere. This job is here, in London. You wanted it so much."

He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "What I wanted, Abbey, was to be the best possible husband to you. And I've failed miserably."

"That isn't true." He dismissed her candor as a veiled attempt to make him feel better, but she didn’t stop. "I'm serious. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and Lizzie are the two most important people in my life." 

Jed put his finger over her lips. "You've been here, raising our daughter for the last few years and you've done it without any help or word of appreciation from me. You've sacrificed enough for our marriage. Now it's time to work on your dream. And in order to do that, we're going back to New England."

"I can't let you turn down this opportunity."

"You're not. I already turned it down." 

"What?"

"Last night - I turned it down. That’s what I was trying to tell you a few minutes ago.”

“You turned it down?”

“Yeah.”

“You did it without talking to me?”

He chuckled. “Don’t tell me I’m going to get in trouble for that too.”

“No. It’s just…”

“I made a promise to you three years ago. I promised you that you'd start med school as soon as I finished. I told you I'd even find a way to pay for it myself. All the degrees, all the job offers, all the accolades...they mean nothing to me if you don't believe in me - trust me to always keep my word. I can’t go on without your trust and your love.”

"But the job?" she asked with a hitch in her voice.

“It’s done. You’re more important than a job.”

“I don’t want you to resent me.”

“Never. I couldn’t possibly resent the woman I love.” Using his thumb, he gently wiped the tears that began to descend down her cheeks. "Besides, initially, I only applied to see if I'd get it. It was that enormous ego at work again."

"It doesn't surprise me," she said, laughing. “You’re so competitive.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Are you sure about this?”

He nodded. "Look, what you said before the party, about Lila - I want to explain. Lila knew about the position because she was standing with me when Professor Lynn approached me. I didn't tell her about it. The only thing I ever confided in her was that I was going to apply."

"It's okay."

"It was wrong of me not to tell you the truth. You have to know that at first, I really did apply just to see what would happen. I hadn't seriously considered taking it since I knew you had your heart set on Harvard and I didn't want to accept a job that meant derailing you from your goals. But I got angry when it felt like you wouldn't support me and one word led to the next..."

"I know," she interrupted. "What if I told you that I trust you and that I support you taking this job? Would you want to do it?"

He replied with a menacing grin. "See that's a trick question."

"I'm sure you have an answer," she pointed out with her own manipulative smile.

"I'd love to tell you that I wouldn't want to do it, but I'd be lying. What I can honestly tell you is that what I want MORE is to make your dreams come true. That's what means the most to me. You're a brilliant woman, Abbey, and I don't want to deprive the world of one of the best scientific minds they’ll ever know." 

“I love you.” She kissed him.

“I love you too. Now, I know today’s discussion won’t fix everything, but we’re on the right track, aren’t we? We’ll get through this?”

"We’ll get through it."

“Good,” he sighed. “So are you going to tell me what you scored on the MCAT?"

"A 42."

"That's right. How could I have forgotten that?” 

“You didn’t.”

“What?”

“You hadn’t forgotten.”

He confirmed her suspicion with a wink as he leaned over the table to fill in the application. Abbey touched him then, a finger around his forearm urging him to face her. She wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him in for another kiss. Their lips never lost contact as she hugged him tightly, melding their bodies together.

"Let's go to bed," she said. "The application can wait until the morning. Tonight is our anniversary and I have other plans." 

"I'm not one to argue," he playfully declared as he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. 

TBC


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Story: The London Years

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: During a heart-to-heart, Jed told Abbey he turned down his job offer and wants to move back to New England so she can complete med school

Summary: Jed and Abbey reconnect

\- - -

Their lips finally unlocked when he gently placed her on the bed. Jed took a moment to catch his breath, then crawled next to her. He rolled his body on top of hers. But Abbey squirmed beneath him and that caused him to sit up, alarmed. 

"Something wrong?"

"Yeah. Let me fix it."

She pushed his shoulders back until his head hit on the pillow. Then, she slid her body on top of him. Her lips reconnected with his and her fingers began unbuttoning his shirt. His hands, lost in the auburn strands of her hair when her head trailed south, curled around every silky lock as her mouth tenderly kissed the area she was revealing button by button. 

She massaged his chest, her mouth open so her tongue could just barely graze his skin. Jed gasped the second he felt her feminine hold between his thighs. Between her forefinger and thumb, she was manipulating his penis now.

He was already hard and Abbey knew it wouldn't take much to send him over the edge, so her mouth continued its journey on an exploration over his sensitive flesh as she unzipped his pants. Warm kisses at his waist drew another sigh. A longer one. A more erotic one. And when she slipped off his boxers, he grabbed a hold of her skirt to pull it down effortlessly.

She went lower on the mattress, her face now parallel with Jed’s penis. He felt the warm air over the tip and he closed his eyes, burying his head into the pillow. She could feel him tense up as she ran her tongue around his base, then gently sucked the tip. 

"Oh God, Abbey."

"You want more?"

She didn't need a verbal response. His sudden gasp was enough to convince her. Green eyes met impassioned blue and she opened her mouth to take him in. He fought back every urge to let go. After all, he wanted this moment to last forever. He squirmed until he was up slightly and with each move, Abbey tightened her lips around him, her eyes smoldering in his direction the entire time. 

Realizing he was holding back, she released her hold and withdrew, tugging on his legs until his head was back on the pillow. She slipped off her panties, straddled his hips, and guided him into her entrance, her hands on his chest for leverage as she moved inside him. The fingers of his right hand gripped her tight around her hips and the others found their way to the sensuous little nub at her center. And when he found just the right spot, she threw her head back as he thrusted himself up and propelled them both towards a mind-numbing orgasm. 

Afterwards, she relaxed her body on top of his. He ran the tips of his fingers over her spine as she lay breathless in his arms. A few quick kisses to the front of her neck rejuvenated him and he grabbed her hips to thrust inside her once more as he rolled them over. She sighed with renewed desire.

"Looks like it won't take much to get you going again.” The truth was, he had never really come down from their last round, so he was more than willing to give it another go.

"No, it really won't," she laughed.

He withdrew from inside her, causing her to moan in disappointment until he pressed his lips into her mouth, quieting her immediately. He nibbled on her earlobe and simultaneously exhaled his warm breath into her ear. It was an action that always provoked a response and tonight was no different. 

He pulled her hair up over the pillow, revealing the soft shoulders he was now rubbing with his hands. He continued to smooth his fingers over her skin, stopping briefly to tease her creamy white breasts. His mouth followed a path down her stomach as she whimpered, her feet kicking out under his legs. 

He rubbed her again, this time between her legs. That same sensitive area that had sent her over the edge only moments earlier was, once again, causing her to moan in pleasurable waves of content. His mouth worked its way down to her hips and she spread her legs in anticipation. He slipped a finger inside, probing the area first. She arched her back, silently begging for more. He added another finger as his mouth devoured the area right above.

Sensing her urgency, as well as his own, he pulled his fingers out and entered her swiftly, a strong hold on her hips keeping her still. The sudden sensation immediately brought Abbey barreling towards her climax and a few passionate rocks back and forth sealed the explosion for both of them.

Ragged and exhausted, Jed collapsed next to her with his arms still wrapped around her petite frame.

"Happy Anniversary," Abbey whispered.

He pulled himself slightly up to kiss her lips. "Happy Anniversary."

Abbey snuggled closer to him, twisting his arm around hers and resting her head on his shoulder. "Jed?"

"Yeah?"

"What changed your mind? What made you tell Professor Lynn no?"

"I told you, I never really..."

"I know. You never really planned to take the job..." she finished. "...but at some point, the thought must have crossed your mind. Otherwise, why wouldn't you have just told me that and ended the distance between us months ago?" 

"Honestly?" He waited for the nod he knew was coming. "I wanted to wait to see if I would get the offer. And I thought about that moment many, many times. I played so many different scenarios in my head and in a few of them, I accepted it. But when it finally happened, it came down to a choice between the job and your happiness. There was really no contest."

"So that was the magic moment? The offer?"

"I guess it was. I should have told you right away instead of standing in the corner and seething over Ron. You know, being out with Tom all night and listening to him go on and on about how much Lila hurt him and how much he wanted to get even...all that did was convince me what a jackass I’ve been. It made me want to come home to you and make things right."

"And just by accident the Harvard application showed up?"

"I guess fate was on our side," he chuckled.

As Abbey's body lay under his arm, she lifted her head to look him in the face. "You knew about Tom and Lila, didn't you? You knew they weren't as perfect as I made them out to be?"

"I didn't exactly know anything. Lila never talked about it."

"I kept comparing us to them, wanting us to have their kind of marriage. No wonder you'd get so angry."

"More like frustrated...that you wanted so much more and I didn't know how to give it to you. I didn't know how to be Tom."

"I never wanted you to be Tom." A look of disbelief on his face prompted her to amend her statement. "Don't look at me like I'm lying. Okay, maybe I'm overstating it, but I never wanted you to be anyone except the man I fell in love with. It's just that I wanted US to be like Tom and Lila. I wanted what I thought they had."

"And now?"

"Now I feel like the luckiest woman in the world." She wrapped a leg over him so she could snuggle closer. "You never did tell me how it went with Tom."

"As well as can be expected considering he was raging mad and looking for someone to take it out on."

"He didn't hit you, did he?" she asked.

"No, no. But he has a lot of anger issues to deal with."

"They both do." Abbey nodded in agreement. "So Lila kept you in the dark about it this whole time?"

"Yeah. I suspected there was something more there. It was just a vibe I got from them when they were together. Sometimes something Lila would say at school just gave me the impression she wasn't as happy as she pretended to be."

"She told me today that they both get physical with one another when they fight."

Jed wasn't surprised. "Yeah."

"How is that not an abusive relationship?"

"Who says it's not?"

"Lila." He sighed as she continued to stare at the ceiling above. "I just don't understand how I was so fooled, how I never noticed anything strange about them. How could I think they were so perfect when they were anything but?"

“Because you've never been in a relationship like that. You grew up with loving parents who gave you an ideal childhood and, as far as I know, you've never dated anyone who hit you or degraded you. That kind of abuse is a private thing, Abbey. Not everyone recognizes it, especially when the ones dealing with it go to such lengths to hide it." 

Abbey could hear his own experience with an abusive father echoing in his words. She turned his head to face her, then kissed him on the cheek. 

"What was that for?"

"Just because," she replied. 

Jed tightened his grip around her as he softly stroked her hair. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Jed closed his eyes and took in the beautiful scent of her hair as she cuddled up closer as if afraid to let go. Her body curled around his and her head tucked under his chin, Abbey relaxed her muscles and started to drift towards sleep with the assurance that he would still be wrapped around her when she eventually woke up. 

TBC


	20. Chapter Twenty

Story: The London Years

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

Previously: Jed and Abbey exchanged a little pillow talk after they physically reconnected

Summary: It's a new year and Jed and Abbey are up for a new adventure!

\- - -

June 1971

It was a dark and gloomy room, this part of what would soon be Jed and Abbey’s former flat in London. The only light filtering in came from behind the ivory curtains that had been left behind. Cluttered in the corner, several suitcases drew attention to the absence of all the furniture that had filled the flat just days earlier. 

Elizabeth sat in the middle of the hardwood floors and slipped her small feet into two throw pillowcases. She stretched her legs and pulled on the satiny fabric to ensure they were securely in place before standing up and wobbling towards the opened front door. With her concentration devoted exclusively to the large sliding surface in front of her, she bent her knees in preparation. 

"Don't you dare!" Abbey warned from behind with one hand on the toddler's waist to keep both her legs glued to the floor.

Liz twisted her head to greet her mother with a mischievous laugh. “Hi.”

"Lizzie, it's even more slippery in here!" Jed called from one of the bedrooms. 

She should have known her three-year-old wouldn’t have come up with such an activity all by herself. This scheme had Jed’s name written all over it. Abbey put her finger over her lips to quiet daughter as she crept towards his voice on the tips of her toes. In an instant, Jed had reached the open doorway and he came hurling towards her. Unable to stop, it was Abbey’s frame that broke his glide. 

"Oh God, Abbey!” He knocked her into the wall with a force even he couldn’t believe. “Are you okay?" 

She waved him off to peel herself off the plaster. "I think so."

"What the hell are you doing?

"I could ask you the same thing!" 

"That was funny!" Lizzie yelled out to her parents once she realized neither was hurt.

Concern replaced Jed's initial surprise when he turned back to his wife. "Are you sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine," she sniped with a hand to the back of her head. "What are you doing? I just waxed these floors."

"If you don't want us sliding then why are you waxing?"

"So this place will look like it did when we moved in. Not so you can slide around on your socks while my daughter cracks her head open on the floor."

"We were just having fun."

"Unsupervised fun. Don't tell me I have to get a sitter for you too."

He recognized her teasing and returned her smile. "We finished all the little chores you gave us to do. We had to find some way to pass the time."

"Mmm hmm," Abbey replied skeptically. "Lizzie, did you pack up all your toys?"

Liz nodded emphatically and toddled her way to her mother as Abbey reached down to pick her up. "Daddy helped!"

"You're sure we haven't left anything behind?"

"I double checked," Jed answered.

"Okay, then let's get these pillowcases off, huh?" 

Liz kicked her feet when Abbey sat her on the countertop and attempted to unwrap her ankles. With a strong whimper, she fought to get down. Jed stood back and smiled as he witnessed the struggle between mother and daughter. Of course Abbey would come out victorious, but he knew with the stubborn streak she inherited from them both, Liz would never give up. 

"I wanna slide!" she whined.

"Then Daddy will have to buy you an actual slide, Sweetie, because you’re not going to slide here.” Abbey’s firm voice pretty much sealed the deal. She jerked the pillowcases off as Liz wiggled around, reaching for them. As soon as Abbey walked away to tuck them into a suitcase, Jed approached the little girl and dropped a small bag of candy in her lap. 

Liz's whines soon turned into a laugh, grabbing Abbey’s attention immediately. "What did you do?" 

"I just calmed her down."

Liz held up the brown rectangular bag. "M&Ms!”

"You're bribing our child?" 

Jed lowered his gaze, his mind racing to change the subject. "Did you know the inspiration for M&M's were came during World War I and that the first ones they were distributed to were American soldiers during World War II?"

"Jed..."

Before the next word left her mouth, he continued. "They were invented so we could send our GIs candy that wouldn't melt, Abbey. Think about that. Think about how patriotic a person would have to be to say ‘hey, you know our soldiers out there in the battlefields risking their lives for the freedoms we enjoy at home…they deserve some candy. Now let’s think of a way to get them some.’ Isn’t that incredible? If it wasn't for our brave men and women, we wouldn't be enjoying this sweet piece of Americana today."

"First of all, it was the Spanish Civil War that inspired the Mars Company, not World War I." She chuckled at the mixture of amazement and disbelief on Jed's face. "You’re not the only one with a brain full of useless trivia.”

“You’re making it up.”

“No, I’m not. You can look it up if you want.”

"Don't think I won't.”

"And secondly, I'm every bit as patriotic as you are and while I was incredibly moved by that touching, yet ill-informed and inaccurate tribute to our national flag, Lizzie barely has teeth. I don't want her rotting them with sugar."

"They're baby teeth. They're going to fall out anyway."

"Not to mention the fact that she hasn't had lunch yet."

Completely oblivious to her parent's disagreement, Lizzie extended her arms to dangle the little brown pouch in front of Abbey. "Open."

"Lizzie, Sweetie, how about instead of M&M's, Mommy buys you a big turkey sandwich at the airport?"

"No, I want M&Ms."

She shined her mother those pretty blue eyes that shined with a twinkle Abbey couldn’t resist. Reluctantly, Abbey conceded, opening the bag and taking out a small handful of the hard-shell candy.

“Next time, Jed…”

"Next time, I'll feed her first," Jed agreed as he pulled Liz off the counter. "Come on, Lizzie, let's go wait for the cab."

“I'll take a final look around,” Abbey replied.

As Jed carried the suitcases outside, the sound of the door closing inspired Abbey's trip down memory lane. A smile dominating her features, she remembered their first night in the flat and the argument they had while unpacking, their first Christmas as Jed surprised her with her family and friends, the first time they brought Lizzie home from the hospital, the first time they slept in separate beds following a fight. 

These walls had seen so much, for they had been a witness to the struggles husband and wife faced in the first four years of their marriage. They had seen the tears, heard the cries, felt the apologies. And in the end, they had sheltered the happiness and joy of two lovers connecting like never before, of best friends building a family on a foundation of mutual trust, respect, and adoration.

Because of the rough times they experienced during their years in London, Jed and Abbey learned lessons that would forever affect their marriage and when they walked out of that tiny flat and boarded a plane back to the United States, they knew they weren’t the same people they had been in 1967. The good times had strengthened their bond. The bad times had taught them the importance of compromise and communication. Together, they entered adulthood. They learned to be parents. And eventually, they became partners, equal in every way.

As Jed walked in, he quietly laid a hand on Abbey’s shoulder. It jarred her a little, bringing her out of her daze as she put her hand on top of his. “Hey.”

“Sorry,” Jed replied. “I just wanted to tell you that the cab is waiting. Lila’s outside with Lizzie.”

"When is she going back?"

"Next week. Tom's picking her up in New York."

"They're going to try again?"

"I think so." Jed wrapped his arms around her from behind.

Abbey took a deep breath, a twinge of comfort filling her heart the moment he touched her. "Have I told you today how proud I am of you, Doctor Bartlet?"

"Only about a dozen times. I never get tired of hearing it though."

She turned in his embrace to steal a quick kiss.

"Mommy! Mommy!" 

They broke the kiss, but Jed kept Abbey in his arms. “What is it, Angel?”

"I want to sit next to you on the plane."

"You're going to sit right in between me and Daddy, okay?"

"Let's go!" 

"I think she's excited."

"I think we all are," Jed replied. "Ready to see New England, Lizzie?"

Jed picked her up and threw her in the air, an act that still made Abbey nervous. 

"All right, from now on, you don't get to hold Liz anymore.”

"Aw, she loves it!"

"One day, you're going to throw her up and she won't come back down."

"Basic physics, Abigail. What goes up..."

"Don't preach to me about science."

"Gravitational pull will..."

"Do yourself a favor, love of my life, and shut up now.”

Jed kissed her cheek as she looped her arm through his and led him out the door.

To Be Continued in Back Home Again


End file.
